ANDRE SANTOS PROFILE


ANDRE SANTOS BIOGRAPHY

Player for English football club Arsenal and the Brazil national football team Andre Clarindo dos Santos born 8 March 1983, more commonly known as Andre Santos, as a left wing-back and left winger. Santos is a youth product of Figueirense.He made his senior debut for Figueirense in a friendly game against Corinthians. On 15 June 2009, he made his first international appearance as a substitute in a match against Egypt. Santos participated and helped Brazil capture the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has described Santos as a quality player, with the ability to both defend well and get forward and help with attacks.

On 21 May 2009, he was called up for the first time to the Brazil national team for 2010 FIFA World Cup qualification and the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup in South Africa. On 15 June 2009, he made his first international appearance as a substitute in a match against Egypt. He then started the following four games as Brazil went on to win the competition. He was in the starting line-up in the Final against United States but was substituted in the 66th minute of play for Dani Alves as he earlier picked a yellow card. Brazil went on to win the match 3-2. However, he was dropped for the friendlies afterwards and Dunga preferred Michel Bastos and Gilberto on the match against Republic of Ireland in February 2010. That 22-man squad against Ireland also became the backbone of 2010 FIFA World Cup squad announced on 11 May. After Brazil had a disappointing world cup Dunga was replaced by Mano Menezes. Under Menezes, Santos regained his spot in the starting line-up.


ANDRE SANTOS PROFILE

Full name: Andre Clarindo dos Santos
Date of birth: 8 March 1983
Place of birth: Sao Paulo, Brazil
Height: 1.80 m (5 ft 11 in)
Playing position: Left back / Left winger

Current club: Arsenal
Number: 11

Career Club

Figueirense
2004–2007 Figueirense 61 (8)
2005–2006 → Flamengo (loan) 24 (18)
2006 → AtlĂ©tico Mineiro (loan) 15 (0)
2008–2009 Corinthians 39 (9)
2009–2011 Fenerbahçe 52 (10)
2011– Arsenal 1 (0)
|source:wikipedia|

Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher Have A Teenage Breakup On The Internet

You know how you mostly know which friends of yours are having relationship problems, getting divorced, getting engaged, having a child or achieving some great life goal? Through Facebook. I swear, I am just waiting for someone to unexpectedly die and get a Facebook invite to their funeral instead of a call (note to my friends and family: if I die, send a mass text and get the hashtag #shellysdead trending, okay?)

Well, sorry Zuckerberg, but more and more people are choosing to air their dirty laundry via Twitter than Facebook - especially celebrities. My guess is it's because Twitter has a better app. Am I right or am I right? Anyways, it's almost hilarious. No, it's actually hilarious. We can watch in real time as very famous people have very public fights - like Rihanna and Ciara, for instance. Or Chris Brown and everyone. We can see Andy Cohen flirt with Anderson Cooper (please, you know he's hitting that) and we can watch couples break up. And get back together. And then break up again. And so on.

The latest and greatest example of this is none other than my favorite cougar Demi Moore and moron husband Ashton Kutcher. News broke last week that Ashton had (allegedly) cheated on Demi again (allegedly), this time with a 23 year old chick named Sara Leal, who I suppose wants a big fat check made out to that name. Well, it's been a media frenzy ever since. I usually don't follow breakup rumors, because it's mostly boring and not true anyway, but Demi and Ashton are handling it like a couple of tenth graders.

I suppose if they were on Facebook, things would be "complicated," but since we're on Twitter, we've got passive aggressive quotes and song references instead. Last week, Demi pulled out her tattered copy of 101 Appropriate Philosophers to Quote Online During a Breakup and chose Greek philosopher Epictetus, tweeting, "When we are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger." Wow. Deep.


But today, shit got real. I'm talking real, people. Both Demi and Ashton stopped following each other on Twitter. An unfollow! That is practically the same thing as setting up a meeting with your lawyers! This is breaking news, you guys. I mean, what will happen next - will Demi delete Ashton from her phone?!?


Well, not to worry, Demi and Ashton fans. They are both now following each other again. PHEW. CLOSE ONE, RIGHT? As you can see, she's only recently added him back. Then again, she added Zooey Deschenal right after, so maybe she was just reading a "Celebs You Must Follow On Twitter" article and got confused. I've attached the image above so you can really get a visual on the gravity of this situation.

Ashton, on the other hand, has chosen to lash out at the public for rumor mongering. I'd like to point out that he is angry here because the public is talking about his personal life. So he's Tweeting about it. On the Internet. To his 7,779,217 followers and the world at large. Because he wants you to stay out of his personal life, okay? Can't you see that? He told you on the Internet that he wants his privacy! God!


Also, I must say. Very original, Mr. Kutcher. I see that wit from Two and a Half Men is already rubbing off on you. Minutes before, he posted his Spotify "now playing" link to let us all know he was listening to Public Enemy's "Don't Believe the Hype," because we are a dead horse and he will beat us!

The couple has made no official comment on their relationship status, though I consider thinly veiled messages on Twitter to be an official statement. Don't you? Mostly, I just really hope they work it out, otherwise Demi is really going to have to change her @mrskutcher Twitter name.

Red Sox Collapse Conitnues, Terry Francona Out

I assure you that this isn't a knee jerk reaction
nor is it fueled by emotion. I am not a Red Sox
fan, and never have been. As a matter of fact
when the Red Sox hired Terry Francona, I was one
to criticize the hire and thought he would fail.

The move to now bring back Francona after this
recent collapse by the Red Sox is not only short
sighted, but completely irresponsible. Francona
has been at the helm for more Red Sox World Series
title than anyone in team history the last 90+
years. Exaggeration?, yes, but fact too.
This ownership group may have just created a new
curse, one that oozes of fat cat success that asks
"what have you done for me lately?" I guess that
since that Patriots have the longest championship
drought in Boston right now, and the choked away
an undefeated season by losing in the Super Bowl
Bill Belichick should hope that Robert Kraft isn't
good friends with John Henry, and more so doesn't
share his views on when to drop the axe on the
Head Coach or Manager of your team.

Anwar Al-Awlaki – Karma at work. The Al Qaeda bomb maker killed in Yemen before he could do any more harm.

Anwar_al-Awlaki
The Al Qaida operative and cleric Anwar Al-Awlaki has been killed in Yemen reportedly due to a US drone strike. Apparently he was at an Al Qaida stronghold with some companions when the strike occurred. He had been near the top of President Obama’s hit list, and looking at his natal chart with good reason. This was a seriously dangerous man, who was very innovative.

AnwarAl-Awlaki natal
A quick look at his horoscope shows why. Al-Awlaki was born on 22nd April 1971 in Las Cruces, New Mexico, In the US. Yes, he was an American citizen of Yemeni parentage. He was a Sun sign Taurus with either a spiritually orientated Pisces moon or a go ahead Aries one. Because of the lack of an official birth time, something we will never know for sure.

Taurus is the maker and the creator, and this man invented explosive devices. Clever ones too. This is the guy behind the toner cartridge explosive, which included the explosive PETN, a substance that cannot be picked up very easily by current airport scanning techniques. The base of this chart is a very nasty grand trine, with Pluto in Virgo technical skill in destruction, Saturn in Taurus emphasising the ambition to build things and the third leg of this grand trine is Mars in Capricorn which provides the motivation and the raging energy, this Mars effectively lights the fuse. Pluto made a very emotional and passionate opposition to the Moon and Venus. This is a man whose convictions ran very strong and very deep. Combine this opposition and grand trine with a peregrine Uranus (very independent, radical and technically orientated) which made a quindecile to Mercury (making his mind as sharp as a razor and very unstable) and you had a very, very dangerous individual. Both the faith planets, Neptune and Jupiter sat in religious Sagittarius, and he would have been very direct and outspoken with  Mercury sitting in Aries. Is it no wonder that he actively preached terrorism?

The progressed and transiting planets for the past couple of days give a few main clues to why he met his fate right now. On the progressed chart, the transiting Moon was homing in on a conjunction with natal Pluto, lighting up the grand trine and the opposition. His progressed Sun and Mars were both trine to natal Uranus, so this was a very accident prone time for him. On the transits, transiting Pluto was trine his Sun so transformational and possibly associated with an easy death. Trines can make things happen, both very good and sometimes very bad. Transiting Uranus and Mars were both trine to the Jupiter/Neptune conjunction, which suggest and accident waiting to happen, almost lulled into a false sense of security, taking unnecessary risks. Maybe he was duped into dropping his guard for a day or two allowing the Americans to get him.
AnwarAl-Awlaki transit
The killer aspect for me however, if you mind the pun, is one which is subtle, hard to spot but deadly. The transiting North Node was conjunct Al-Awlaki’s natal Vertex. The vertex is known in some circles as “Destiny’s Gate” a very, very sensitive part of the chart.  In  astrology, official description of the Vertex is calculated as being the point located at the intersection of the Ecliptic (path of the Sun) and the Prime Vertical, a plane that divides the celestial sphere into front and back. Yes, I can’t work it out either?? What I do know is that often when a connection is made by a transiting planet or in this case the North Node, it is quite simply a turning point in one’s life. Now the connection with the North Node is fateful because with Nodal connections you have little or no choice in what is going to happen. Fate takes it’s course. Celeste Teal in her wonderful book “Lunar Nodes” describes this connection as a time when one feels isolated, a time when you meet with destined encounters and experiences and also a time when one is “quite vulnerable to being hurt by others”.

It is so ironic that the bomb inventor met his fate at the hands of a bomb he didn’t know was coming. He got his just reward. Karma showed by the North Node was played out to the full and thankfully, Al-Awlaki can do no more harm.
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Arnold Scharzenegger commissioned three bronze statues as remembrances of Mr Olympia.


Arnold Schwarzenegger, former Mr Universe, seven times Mr Olympia (1970–1975, 1980) and ex-republican governor of California (38th 2003–2011), commissions three oversized (almost 9 feet) bronze statues of himself. The TW Bronze of enterprise, Tim Park of Oregon-based sculpture studio, has done two of the three 2.5 metre and 263kg statues. StarPulse reported that the statues are the reproduction of the appearance in his days of competitive bodybuilder.


There is a smaller sculpture with him created in 1980, the year he won his seventh Mr Olympia title and the three statues are the bigger version of that specific one. The "Terminator" star is considering the statues as the display of something that he is still proud of after the separation from his wife Maria Shriver, an affair with a maid Mildred Baena and a allegation of abusing state fund.

The first one of the three will be sent to Austria in the museum dedicated to his life at his childhood home in Thal. The second one will be sent to Columbus, Ohio, where Arnold fitness Weekend is held annually. The program is used to be inspired by this 64 year-old superstar. The third one will be kept by him.

Timothy Parks, owner of TW Bronze of Enterprise said that one of the statues has already sent to Austria and the other on the way to Ohio, "One of them is for Columbus, and I think the plan is to have it there for the next Arnold [Sports Festival]." Schwarzenegger actually has a plan to make seven staues equelling the number of times he won Mr Olympia. So wait for the next Four.

What is a Quarter Pound Ounces and Dubs of Weed

Quarter Pound
The prices of a quater pound is going up and down now days. Dubs are starting to cost about 25 dollars in some areas. I just got a ounce of fire medical grade weed. Its lasted me about 2 weeks. I smoke alot. I also sip jim beam when smoke and eating breakfast.

Do Girls Grow Weed?

Girl Growning Weed


HIGHTIMES.COM > PIX OF THE CROP - 08.05.11:

'via Blog this'

HIGHTIMES.COM > MAY 2011 Cover Page


One of the best marijuana magazines of our time. Tons of growing guides and bud pictures.

'via Blog this'

Nicola Roberts on The Sun




Sophie Ellis-Bextor en Sunrise & The Morning Show





Jose Reyes, John Lackey, And The Goods

So people are crying over how Jose Reyes cheaped
out on winning the NL Batting title and how Ted
Williams wouldn't have done that. Well let's
look at this shall we. Jose Reyes is no Ted
Williams, Uh Duh, No Friggin Kidding, I'm not
sure I would want would him to have his head
frozen for eternity once he passes away either.
Now I know that those two tiny points won't
satisfy the masses, but they weren't meant too,
they were just meant to state two facts, however
let me elaborate on another thing that may or may
not compare to sitting out when you have the
"goods" well in hand. How often to do you see
an NFL team nurse a lead by simply sitting on the
ball and run out the clock. They won't throw,
they won't look for big plays, nothing. Don't
think it's the same?, you're right it's not,
but they are sitting on the win, and that is.
How about the Yankees not throwing Mariano Rivera
in the last game of the season against the Rays
when Mr Automatic could have sealed the deal, but
they chose not to. They sat on it, they had
nothing to gain, neither did Jose, NOTHING.
Don't think it's the same?, you're right, but
nothing is, and he's not Ted Williams either.
I could go back an research how many other guys
have done this, and I assure you I would find
a treasure trove, but it's just NOT worth it.
Believe what you want to believe, most of you
do regardless of what I write, and would continue
to even if in your own minds where convinced
beyond a shadow of a doubt that I might have a
point. The truth is that I don't agree with him
sitting it out, but I hate that teams run out the
clock at the end of games too, even in the biggest
of games, and the Super Bowl.

As for John Lackey, I don't give a rats ass about
his text messages, his possible divorce, or
whether he is media savvy or not. Truth is he
is robbing the Red Sox blind with his 26-23
record so far into his contract and his above 6
ERA, so why not let his wife rob him in the same
way? You think he might actually find a way to
pitch well in a big spot before they ship his
arse out of town?


Let's Celebrate Banned Books Week By Reading Something Awesome

We all know to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Catcher in the Rye, but new books are being published all the time that are banned. Book banning? Is fucking lame. In a world where we make icons of Jersey Shore stars and plaster teen moms on magazine covers, we're banning books? Seriously? I highly encourage you to take a look at the list of recently banned books and the overall banned book database and read a few, if you haven't already. I mean, The Great Gatsby? Really? You've got to be kidding me.

One to really look out for this year is Suzanne Collins' enthralling Hunger Games trilogy, which I lost sleep over for nearly three days. My best friend was in surgery and I didn't go to the hospital until I finished reading it. Seriously. It's that good. Amazon is having a sale where you can download the entire trilogy for less than $20 to your Kindle and Nook is offering the same deal. Or, just go buy them. They're worth having and they are definitely worth a read. I cannot wait for the movie and I hope it does a fraction of the justice these incredible books deserve. And for all you snobs out there who refuse to read YA books? Get over yourself. Young Adult novels are the basis for more than half of our popular movies and television shows right now, so maybe give it a chance. It's better than the Da Vinci Code, that's for effing sure. I tried to read that drivel no less than three times before I gave up. And once, I was on a train from Scotland to England, where shit is really boring. It still couldn't hold my attention. Whereas the Hunger Games had to be pried from my cold, dead hands if I didn't finish.

I think that's enough of an endorsement. If you haven't read them yet, do so. You're missing out. And besides, most banned things are awesome, right? That's why they are banned. They are interesting. They are provocative and push boundaries. And they are pretty fucking great. So, read, people. And then pass this along.

Top Chef Just Desserts: "I Freaked The Sh*t Out Of That Gravy"


Previously on Top Chef Just Desserts, Gail Simmons tells us, the chefs got "wet and wild." which sounds a lot dirtier than she probably means it to sound. Pun count: five. Better than last time, I guess. Katzie took her second win and everyone really started to hate her. Also previously on Top Chef Just Desserts, my future husband Johnny Iuzzini wore manpri pants, and I am still recovering emotionally. Only eight chefs remain and they gather in their apartments, trying to figure out what their next challenge will be. Several suggest it will be ice sculpture - is that a pastry chef thing? I mean, they aren't edible. I mean, obviously ice is edible, you know what I mean, shut up.

So, they're talking about ice sculpture and Sally starts to make fun of Katzie right in front of her. Shitty, although all she keeps saying is "I wouldn't want to be near Katzie with a chain saw!" over and over again, which really isn't that clever or mean. But Katzie? Is pissed. She knows people don't respect her. They think she only does "fun things" and isn't a real pastry chef. Oh Katzie, they are very, very jealous. Poor girl. Of course, then she destroys her credibility as someone to respect by saying, quote: "You think you're better than me? You think you're so gangster in the hood? Girl, watch me!" which, um. I don't really think little Asian pastry chef Sally is trying to be all gangster in the hood? But alright. Rebecca notes that Katzie is basically batshit insane, but it's her insanity that makes her so creative and non-traditional, giving her an edge in the competition. Astute observation, but she still sounds like she's crying.

Quickfire Challenge! Gail introduces guest judge Jordan Kahn, who I suppose is a pastry chef but actually looks like the lost member of The Strokes.  Jordan is apparently known for his non-traditional desserts (and also the indie smash album This Is It) which do not discriminate between sweet and savory foods. For their challenge, they will have to create a dessert using root vegetables. Ew. They're given things like celery root, radishes, parsnip, turnips and jicama. This challenge is hella hard, but the winner gets $5,000, so I suppose that's a good exchange for having to make a dessert with burdock root.  That's what poor Megan pulled, and she has no idea what it is. Me either. Carlos decides to mix peanut butter with his celery root, which doesn't sound like a bad idea, but it doesn't work out. Rebecca and her crying voice whimper to Gail and Jordan that she has no idea how to cook (she means cook savory foods as opposed to baking) and Gail tells her, with a bit of an edge to her voice, that maybe she shouldn't say shit like that on a cooking show. Fucking idiot. Chris is disqualified for garnishing after the time limit. Both Matthew and Sally have experience with savory flavors, so they end up on top and Sally wins the five grand. And immunity. Again. Boo. I am so sick of Sally.


For their Elimination Challenge, Gail tells the chefs that she wants them to "add a little street to their menu" and that to help, she's going to bring in "one of the freshest fellas [she] knows." Um, Gail honey? No one says 'fresh' anymore. Or 'fellas' for that matter. You have just proved yourself uncool. Please cease with the slang attempts, okay?  Anyway, Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys comes in and I'm kind of excited, but also...you guys? Ad Rock is so old. He's just so old now. And that makes me feel old. One of the first records I ever played on my Fisher Price record player was License To Ill. I knew every word to "Paul Revere" when I was five years old. My older brother was perhaps a bad influence, but whatever. Ad-Rock! Rebecca feels the same way. She's had a crush on Ad-Rock since she was 15 and seeing him this close is "bananas awesome." That was cute.


Not as cute? Is this challenge. Gail and Ad-Rock discuss sampling, and Gail says for this Elimination Challenge, the chefs have to do some "sampling" of their own. They are to incorporate two items from the Beastie Boys Pantry and present their dishes at a street art festival. You guys? The Beastie Boys Pantry is awesome. In this pantry are all the foods mentioned in Beastie Boys songs, from chicken and pizza to pork and beans, canned ravioli, bacon and matzo. They have Brass Monkey! AMAZING. But the chefs do not agree. They look completely horrified. As Orlando puts it, "What the fuck are we going to do with all this shit?"  Luckily for the chefs, the Beastie Boys rap about alcohol...a lot. Many of them take whiskey, rum and beer. Megan snags the Brass Monkey (that funky monkey!) and also sings. Rebecca chooses "a forty and some ham," which makes me like her again. Stop that, Rebecca! Orlando is probably smartest, choosing the white rum with "sugar, coffee and cream" because I guess when it comes to beats, he's a fiend. Chris becomes temporarily mentally deranged and picks the pork and beans and a slice of pizza. Um.

But then, listen all y'all: in "a little bit of a sabotage," there's a twist. Interesting to note: I don't find it annoying when Ad-Rock uses a pun. So each of the chefs has to choose one more item...for one of the other chefs to use. Harsh! Sally gets to pick first, and then each continues, shoving mashed potatoes, falafel, gorgonzola, cucumber and more at each other. Chris now has ravioli in addition to his pork, beans, and pizza. He is starting to regret his choices. Meanwhile, Orlando is sampling his rum a little too much and getting drunk. Lightweight pussy!  There's a great moment where he runs by behind Matthew, drops everything in his hands, yells "That was intentional!" and runs away. Ah, drunk people. Orlando also points out that this is the first time they are cooking as individuals. Hey, good point. Then again, he has rum, coffee and peas. So it's not as thrilling as he'd hoped.


Sally is going for "risky" this time with her prosciutto, chicken and cheddar cheese cake. Vomit. She realizes that even though she has immunity, last time she got reamed out for only making a crappy ass smoothie, so maybe she doesn't want to just coast by again. Ya think? Meanwhile, Sally's nemesis Katzie has French fries and butter and wants to make sweet pomme frites. Mmmm. Then again, she also has gorgonzola and provolone. So, there's potential, but it might end up tasting nothing like a dessert.  Rebecca is making falafel-infused panna cotta, which sounds revolting. Carlos (popcorn, bacon, cucumber) is making something called "popcorn glass" which is inspired by graffiti since this is for a street art festival after all.  He says it tastes like Cracker Jacks, which is cool. But where's he gonna put the cucumber? Megan is making Brass Monkey sorbet. That funky monkey sorbet.


Chris...is freaking out. I feel pretty bad for him. I feel even worse when he tells us that he has a one month old daughter at home with a congenital heart defect. I mean, Jesus. Why are you on a television show? If I was Chris's wife, I'd kick his ass, for fucking serious, leaving me to handle that alone. Not gonna lie, but I also feel bad for the street art festival goers. Can you imagine attending a Top Chef Just Desserts event and you have to eat mashed potato cheesecake with a gravy foam? Because that's what Matthew is serving. No, sorry, guys! You don't get a magical candy land or an array of specialty cakes! You get falafel panna cotta. This challenge is making me nauseous. Everyone who has booze in their dish is really selling the booze, I guess so people get wasted enough to think their shit tastes good.  Then effing Marcel from Top Chef shows up and I am fully convinced he does not have a job, because he is on Bravo all the time. He's very good friends with Sally, which makes perfect sense to me since they are both irritating as hell. Sally describes him as "her homie." At least she didn't write a rap about it.

Speaking of rappers...the judges are here! I mean Ad-Rock, of course. I don't think Gail and Johnny and that other random chick judge from Daily Candy who I can never remember are starting a hip hop group. But they should. With Hubert, of course. He's a total MC. So they like Carlos's popcorn thingy, but my future husband Johnny Iuzzini is immediately on Orlando's ass for using pre-made cookies. Orlando is all, "We only have four hours!" like it doesn't take 40 minutes to make a batch of shortbread cookies. Johnny gives him the eyebrows of disdain. Megan has her Brass Monkey sorbet and a cake, which she calls "No Sleep 'Till Brooklyn," because she likes overkill.  The cake is dry. Johnny no happy at dry cake. Johnny frown. Ad-Rock loves Sally's chicken and cheese play on sticky toffee pudding, which I can barely type without gagging.  Katzie's French fries are served with both sweet and savory sauces, and no one really loves it. Gail wishes the gorgonzola and provolone had more "intense-ness" because she is "illiterate" and "doesn't know adjectives." Good lord, doesn't she work for a magazine?

Rebecca meets Ad-Rock and totally fangirls him and gets him to sign her cast and then babbles and licks her cast when he isn't looking and shoves the marker in her pants. Just kidding. Only about the last part. Her dish sounds completely repulsive. There's ham and cumin and the aforementioned falafel panna cotta. The only thing that sounds promising is the 40 oz ice cream, which Gail says doesn't taste enough like beer. Johnny is like whoa, this tastes like crap. Chris offers a pork and bean brownie. I want to puke.  Matthew is up next with the craziest shit ever: cornbread and mashed potato cheesecake with a whiskey caramel and gravy foam. Oh. My. God. Ad-Rock looks so perplexed by the gravy foam. Johnny is like..."Well, I taste all of the ingredients," and that's probably a good thing? Maybe? Matthew says he wants to throw up all over himself and I know the feeling.


Best part of the episode by far is the Banana Game, where the chefs apparently have a longstanding competition to see who can "banana" each other, which is not what it sounds like. It's leaving a banana on someone's shoulder without them knowing it. Carlos successfully "bananas" Marcel, who then learns of the game. Apparently, you get bonus points if you can "banana" Johnny. I'd banana Johnny any day of the week. We're going to pretend that made sense. Marcel attempts to "banana" Johnny, but fails. Oh, the hilarity.


But now the fun is over, you hear me? Katzie, Megan and Rebecca are called in to the judges' table. But ha! Gail has used trickery on you fools, for you are not the winners - you lose! Yes, these are the bottom three, which is effing mean after how many seasons of calling the winners in first? Man. Cruel, Gail! The way their little faces crumble, it's just not right. They didn't like Katzie's condiments. Megan's cake was dry. Then Rebecca gets about fourteen new assholes ripped as the judges tear apart her dish. She cries like an idiot in front of her childhood crush, which looks as nightmarish as it sounds. Ad-Rock is like, "It was not good and I have no intention of marrying you." Rebecca sobs. 

Matthew, Chris and Sally are called in as the top dishes. Sally is triumphant! Suck on it, Katzie, she thinks to herself as she diabolically laughs. Everyone is impressed with how edible their repulsive combinations turned out to be. Ad-Rock says they all "freaked it" but Matthew "freaked it the most" and he wins. Matthew is stunned and says he "freaked the shit out of that gravy." Um. Rebecca, in a life-dream-shattering turn of events, gets sent home by her idol. When she gets home, she's going to take down her Beastie Boys poster from over her bed, that's for sure. I'll be she really regrets that "Hey Ladies" tattoo on her ass right about now. 

Learn To Booty Tooch With The All Stars On America's Next Top Model (Yeah, I Said Booty Tooch)


Can I first start by saying that this season has the most annoying credits in America’s Next Top Model history? And that’s saying something. Man. They give me a seizure. Do not look directly at the credits! Anyway, all the All Stars are fretting about fitting in and finding their place because two big personalities have been sent home. Um, you all have big personalities. That's the point of an All Star season. Duh. Then suddenly, there’s a voice calling from downstairs. It’s very dramatic. Very dramatic. It’s all, “Who is that? Could it be-? No, it couldn’t possibly be- is it? Noo! It can’t be! That isn’t the voice of-?” etc. and then it goes to commercial, so I’m expecting like, some amazing guest judge or a controversial past contestant back to replace someone but instead I get Kristin Cavallari. Yeah. Kristin Cavallari. That’s barely a famous person, let alone an exciting one. Good lord.

Well, Kristin is there to tell a bunch of not really famous people what it’s like to be famous for five minutes and then have to whore yourself around Hollywood so that people don’t forget who you are. It’s hard because like, she was “the bitch” on Laguna Beach, and so she’s always going to “have haters.” Interjection: I am getting so fucking sick of the word hater. Can we abolish it? Can’t we just say “criticism”? Or, I don’t know, people giving their opinions, which is actually an alright thing to do? God. It’s not my problem you went on some stupid show and acted like a bitch and now people perceive you as a bitch, you idiot. It’s yours. These aren’t “haters,” these are “people who watched Laguna Beach and ate what you fed them.” Shut up. So anyway, yeah, haters gonna hate and all that, but even “the bitch” can become famous. Isn’t that great? Then Kristin Cavallari tells them all to make smart choices and know their brand – I’m catching a theme this season, ya know? I don’t think any of this is actually about them becoming models. I think it’s just a how-to guide on being famous when you’re not actually very good at anything.

Then the models meet Nigel Barker at The Grove, home to Extra and Mario effing Lopez. Why does the world keep forcing me to talk about Mario Lopez so much? Ugh. Because one of their prizes is a correspondent gig on Extra, they need to work on their ability to speak English in public without sounding like an idiot. This may be their toughest challenge yet. The girls are divided into two teams and Nigel drops the bomb that the winning team gets full immunity at elimination. Wow. That is very bad odds for the other chicks. AC Slater starts to interview Team One (Laura, Alexandria, Isis, Lisa, Dominique, Angelea) and Lisa Who Loves Diapers goes first. AC asks something inane and her response includes a lot of “Haaaa-ayyy what whaaat?” and high fives. Lisa? Does not do well. Isis is extremely well spoken, which isn’t surprising since she’s been doing speaking tours for more than a year. Angelea is composed and professional, because she wants to treat this like a job. Lisa keeps high fiving each of them after they speak and cutting in as they answer questions. Otherwise, everyone does well, but Lisa might have sunk this ship.


Team Two (Bianca, Kayla, Bre, Shannon, Allison, Camille) is next. Bianca makes the mistake of using the term “word vomit” which is probably a poor choice of words in terms of interview appeal. No one else does poorly exactly, although Alexandria points out that they don’t appear very genuine and she’s not wrong.  They do win, though, because I suppose it’s better to be a little phony than to be all “Hey guuuuuuurl,” unless you are Ryan Gosling. The overall winner is Allison, which I love, because she’s such a weirdo but she is smart.  Meanwhile, Angelea is super pissed because Nigel called her interview boring. She conducted herself professionally, which I don’t really think is a bad thing? But I guess he wants her to be a little gangsta, since that’s her whole deal. So she’s flipping out, hands flying and neck twisting about how professional she is. She’s all, “Bitch, I worked at a bank!” I love Angelea.


Tyra Mail! The note reads, “My, what long legs you have,” which leads the models to believe they’ll be working with animals. This terrifies everyone except creepy Allison, who wants spiders to crawl all over her face. But it’s not animals, it’s stilts. They are paired up, one from the winning team and one from the losing team. They will be wearing stilts. The modeling shoots are so stupid this season, you guys, but at least this is better than hot dogs. Isis and Camille take their turn, and Camille says some kind of super offensive crap about how a transgendered person can’t beat a “real woman.” Um, bitch has a vagina now. Shut up, Camille. Bianca is freaking out, because she’s very scared of heights. She’s paired with Lisa, who I would be a lot more scared of than a pair of stilts, but Bianca hides in the bathroom and cries. Angelea does very poorly with Allison. Alexandria falls down and yells a lot about her ankles, prompting Mr. Jay to talk crap about her to the photographer. Shannon, who basically looks like a dominatrix on stilts, is “totally fine” with her wardrobe, because it’s “a bathing suit.” Mr. Jay casually asks her if she’s sure about four times, trying to hide a smile. See, Shannon, it’s because Mr. Jay thinks you’re a total idiot. Spoiler: you are.


Panel time, and Tyra introduces Kristin Cavallari as “one of the biggest reality television stars living today.” I wonder how much her publicist had to pay America’s Next Top Model to make Tyra read that line? Angelea addresses Nigel – professionally, despite her threats to “bring out the ghetto” – about her confusion with his feedback. She doesn’t know if they want her to be all “girl from the streets” or to become classy and sophisticated. Nigel and Tyra actually explain themselves in a way that makes sense, telling her that her flava is what made fans latch onto her, so she shouldn’t lose it, but she should know when to reign in it. But then they ruin all this insightful conversation with their photo critique. Angelea doesn’t fare as well as Allison in their picture. Why? Well, that’s because she isn’t doing the “Booty Tooch.” What the fuck is a Booty Tooch, you ask? Well, joining the ranks of smize and dreckitude, Top Model has given us another made up word to describe something Tyra thinks is important. Booty Tooch actually just means arching your back when you stick out your behind, so your body has movement and looks more alluring. So yeah, Angelea is lacking in the Booty Tooch Department, which you can see by this helpful infographic they give us.


Allison ends up taking best photo for her tremendous display of Booty Toochery. All the safe girls are safe, although they didn’t like Camille or Kayla’s shots. The best photo of the losing group is Alexandria and the bottom two are Angelea and Isis. Noooooo! Tyra points out that neither girl has the worst photo, “which just shows how important their challenges are”. It really just comes down to the pictures and Angelea’s is stronger. That means Isis goes home, which is such a load of garbage. Even though you’re good, our dumb Mario Lopez challenge is making you go home before boring Shannon and horribly blank Camille? Even though you did extremely well in the challenge and it was Lisa that made you lose in the first place? Boo. Unfair! I do not approve, Top Model. But at least I got to see the most famous reality television star currently living on planet Earth. That was exciting.
Winning photo:

Kim Kardashian Is Not Black, But Also Has A Booty, Or: Last Night On H8R

Look, I know I said I was breaking up with H8R because it's awful and basically just reminds you how completely void of intelligence or worth most people on reality television are - especially you, Mario Lopez! Man, he bugs me. But last night's episode featured Kim Kardashian and I just could not resist.


So, Kim K's hater has like, an endless supply of material against Kim Kardashian, right? Her self-centered reality series, her useless products, her inability to stop fame whoring all over the place, her loathsome family (especially her mother's pimp-sploitation of all her young daughters for profit), her utter lack of any discernible talent...I could go on.

But this girl - and it must be said for the story's sake that she is an African American girl with a nice body - hates her...because of her booty. Or, to be more specific, because Kim Kardashian has a curvy body with a big ass and black men find this attractive. Kim's even had the nerve to date black men, even though she is not black herself. How dare she not be a racist!  I cannot believe Kim doesn't exclusively date people of her own race. I mean, shit. Why doesn't she just think of all people as equals or something? How disgusting! What's more, each black guy she dates? She is stealing them from black girls. It's so, so wrong what Kim Kardashian is doing, you guys. And now she's gone and married someone who is only half-Caucasian. It's sick. That other half of Kris Humphries could be with a black chick right now if it wasn't for Kim K!

Kim tries to explain to this ignorant piece of poo that she is Armenian and in her culture, women are also known to have curvy bodies - and moreover, that black women do not have the corner on the booty market. As an Italian woman, I hear ya, sister Kim! But this chick takes a while to convince. It turns out that Kim has been to Africa three times you guys, plus she helped Hurricane Katrina victims who were like, also black. This apparently makes it alright for her to date black men, despite her fake ass Armenian non-black booty.  I mean, it's great that she gives back to the black community, and that she provides aide in Africa, but I don't really think she was doing it so she had "permission" to date black dudes, ya know? Wow, just. Wow. 

The first half of the episode, if you're curious, was with the completely vile Joe Francis of "Girls Gone Wild" fame, who managed to convince a middle-aged mother of a teenage daughter that he is not, in fact, exploiting women. He was wrongfully accused of a crime, you know? And like, he doesn't care about material possessions at all. Not one of the 37 luxury cars on his estate matter to him! Plus, he paid a blonde model to say he was totally respectful, and if some random bimbo says it, he must be the real deal. This I guess either proves that everyone on this show, be it celebrity or "hater" actually is completely void of any intelligence or worth, or this show is just one big hoax where all of Mario Lopez's asshole friends come on and try to get themselves some image PR. I'm guessing the second. No for real this time, I'm breaking up with H8R.

The Dashing David Dixon...

Good Day Fashionistas!
Today’s interview is with the incredibly talented fashion designer, David Dixon.  A judge for the Art of Fashion http://artoffashion.org,  David is a staple in the Canadian design industry and has really established a reputation for making stunning evening wear that speaks of glamour and sophistication. 
Designer David Dixon
David was the youngest of 6 children and grew up in an Irish family.  He shares that their background was in construction and it was only him and his brother, who is in interior design, who got involved in creative fields.  He wistfully recounts how his obsession with all things stylish started when he was a child watching an episode of the ‘Love Boat’ that featured Gloria Vanderbilt, Bob Mackie, Geoffrey Beene and Halston.  He says that the world opened up for him at that point and he started sketching the next day.  He remembers that drawing came naturally to him and even at the young age of 9 or 10, he started drawing gowns and evening wear.  He said that in grade 7 home education class, he literally went from sewing a bean frog to making an evening gown.  Later on he went to the Ryerson Fashion School and felt  he had finally found his niche among similarly minded students who shared his passion for fashion.   For the first time in his life he felt like he belonged somewhere with his unusual penchant for design. 
David sharing his story with me...
Since then, David has built a fashion empire and continues to push boundaries with his designs.  He is constantly experimenting with new techniques, creating memorable pieces that are unique and talked about.  Most recently, E-Talk anchor Tanya Kim wore an older piece in his collection that was a fabulous mirror dress.  People saw her wearing David’s design and he was inundated with calls asking for her dress.  He couldn’t believe the buzz it generated, especially since it is no longer available for purchase.   
David says he loves dressing women and that if he could dress anyone, he would have loved to design for Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn and Lena Horne.  For today’s starletts he admires the avant garde,  Tilda Swinton and classic beauty, Cate Blanchett, as well as his constant inspiration, Iman.   David prides himself on pieces that are well constructed and wants to challenge himself as his collections develop and change.  He hopes that his customers will grow along with his collection and support the new and innovative ways he is trying to leave his mark on the fashion industry.

As for the future of his collections, David has expanded into offering various lines for the everyday woman, including an exclusive line at the Bay called ‘Little Black Dress’.  He understands that having the perfect little black dress is essential for every woman’s wardrobe and knows that being accessible is key for women from all walks of life, whether they need an everyday look, or beautiful gown. 

David shared some pieces from his collection and showed us clover coats, eye cat leopard and digital python prints, as well as individually sewn shapes.  The intricacy of his designs is evident.  David clearly puts a lot of effort and time into sourcing out and designing the best fabrics and getting involved in the entire process from inception to the end.  He enjoys making fantastic ready to wear pieces with interesting details and trim cut by hand.  He is a staunch perfectionist and will not rest until he gets the desired effect.  It is clearly very important to him to produce quality pieces no matter what the price point and it is this dedication to his craft that has garnered everyone’s respect in a tough industry.
David’s unique voice continues on the runway and he tries to communicate a story to his audience so that people connect with what he is trying to do.  He wants his pieces to resonate with the consumer and recognizes that it is important to make an impression no matter what.
David and I in his workroom
As the president of the Toronto Fashion Incubator, a non-profit organization that supports emerging local talent, David knows the importance of getting involved with the next generation of designers and supporting the Canadian fashion landscape.  He enjoys being a part of events like the Art of Fashion, where he can be inspired by a new designer’s talent and raw expression.  As a former mentor at Ryerson University, David helped to develop the collections of 4th year students and gave them advice and direction on how to edit and tailor their ideas.  He is truly someone who cares about what is ahead and is interested in keeping homegrown talent alive.    
There is a timelessness about David’s clothing.  He likes to address current themes while still making pieces that have no shelf life.  He is a great designer with a terrific business sense and his longevity is a prime example of how to be truly successful in fashion.  Watch out for what’s next from this enigmatic designer!  http://www.daviddixon.ca
Until Next Time My Glamazons!
Cecilia J

Jessica Chastain starring with Tom Cruise in a Science-Fic movie.


"The Help" actress Jessica Chastain has been invited the to play the female lead opposite role to Tom Cruise in Universal's untitled science fiction project "Oblivion and Horizons." The new fild is going to be directed by Tron Legacy director Joseph Kosinski. Peter Chernin and Dylan Clark will produce through Chernin Entertainment with Barry Levine. 

The Oblivion and Horizons is a love story taking place in an apocalyptic future where most of the population lives in clouds since the Earth is no longer habitable. A Earthbound repairman whose job it is to work on drones that fight alien life forms meets a woman who forces him to question his world view.

In the film Chastain will play Cruise's lover and partner, who tethers him to the world above the clouds while he's doing repairwork. She becomes none-too-happy when she discovers he has fallen for anther woman. Jesse Berger and Dave Morrison are executive producing. Peter  Cramer and Sara Scott are overseeing the project for the  studio. Chastain has been on a tear since nabbing the role of Brad Pitt’s wife in Terrence Mallick’s "The Tree of Life." On top of being one of the standouts in DreamWorks’ hit drama "Help," Chastain has "Texas Killing Fields," with Sam Worthington and Chloe Moretz, and "The Wettest County," with Shia LaBeouf and Tom Hardy, in the can. This Holly Wood new comer has really been doing better. Otherwise the roles she is given in those big screen project are doubted to be accomplished successfully. what do you think?



Tom Cruise and Jessica Chastain in science fic "The Oblivion and Horizon"

Chipper Jones And Atlanta Braves Out

Break it down anyway you like, but when you have
a 10 1/2 in August and blow it with a miserable
September, even after you get the chance to play
the final three games of the season against a
team who has everything wrapped up and nothing
to play for, and you still don't the job done,
you deserve to miss the post season. You were
not good enough to begin with. Chipper Jones
was robbed on a great play by Michael Martinez
that would have put the Braves in front, but
again, if you have to rely on one play when you
blew such a gigantic lead, you don't deserve
the honor of going to the post season.

The same goes for the Red Sox, but after winning
2 titles in the last 9 years, THIS debacle is a
little easier to swallow, especially when you
consider that they got that first one in super
comeback fashion. This is a major choke job,
but there is no crying here Red Sox fans, enjoy
the Football season, and your Champion Bruins,
because you probably won't see a Celtics game
this year. Funny thing is, that this was like
double whammy for anyone who was a fan of the
Boston Braves, like a two birds with one stone
kind of irony.




Rachel Zoe Project: Jeremiah Pulls Off The Big Move, But Is It Enough To Stick Around?


Pop quiz: if you had to choose between spending the weekend with Rodger or having a Twilight movie marathon with gay stylist Joey from the Rachel Zoe Project, which would you choose? No, you can't choose death, silly! These are Rachel's options. While she would love to have her husband home, his stupid ass is going to Vegas with "the boys" to watch the Super Bowl. So instead, she gets Twilight, popcorn and Joey. One of those will make you vomit, one of those you will vomit after eating (carbs!) and one of those will hold your extensions back while you do steps one and two. So I guess it's a good deal? Whatever. Can I just say I agree with the Zoe and an overnight trip to Vegas with "the boys" at 42 is a little pathetic? I mean, I'm not planning on being one of those wives who harp on their husbands for spending time with their friends, but stop calling them "the boys." You sound like an idiot. But what can I expect from a grown man in a peace sign necklace?

"I'm not supposed to stand in front of the microwave as it's on, because it's bad for unborn children," says Rachel, as she stands in front of the microwave as it's on. Meanwhile, Rodger is already drunk when he gets to Vegas and leaves a douchey message on her voice mail, which he and his friends think is hilarious because they are drunk and douchey. These guys say things like, "Who's your daddy?" and "We're gonna bring some bitches back here tonight!" unironically.  Aren't they all married? Gross. Fourteen hours later and their hotel suite at The Palms is wrecked. It's like The Hangover, but without the tiger or the baby. And I'm pretty sure they have all their teeth. But Rodger keeps saying things like "I don't understand what we did last night?" and "I don't understand where my money is?" so this doesn't bode well. Flashback to debauchery.  Shots, clubs and strippers. Of course then he ruins this display of unabashed masculinity by hamming it up with Joey on the phone while he checks in with his wife.


Meanwhile, Rachel is missing her husband and missing Fashion Week, so she drops several hundred thousand dollars on vintage Oscar de la Renta and vintage Chanel. Things are "major" and "O-M-G" and then there's the concern about how she can wear backless now what that she has boobies. It's all very deep and meaningful as we go through all the vintage lace and fur. The problems the pregnant Zoe faces are real and serious, people.

But down to business: Rachel is styling the host of the Oscars. This is Anne Hathaway, of course, and based on my recollections, she did a damn good job. Anne may have sucked a nut as a host, but she looked effing amazing. So at least one of them did well! (Sorry Anne, I love you! You'll always be the princess of Genovia to me!) Meanwhile, Jeremiah is selling his first born, his plasma, his sperm and possibly a kidney to get this furniture to Rachel and Rodger's house in time.  You guys, I don't know that Jeremiah is going to last this season, and that makes me sad. He has such pretty blue puppy eyes. Poor Jer. He just might fail miserably.


Rachel and her jam packed schedule include a lip line endorsement, which is a struggle since she's stressed and has what she calls "pregnancy brain." Or it might be the forty tons of Elnet hairspray seeping into her scalp. She cannot remember her lines. But her lips look nice, so hey. I guess it's a win. Not a win? This move. The Zoe is having a nervous breakdown over a bunch of strangers handling her vintage archives. Usually I think Rachel Zoe is a moron, but I kind of see her point there.  She has about 40,000 pairs of sunglasses and twice that amount of shoes. There are six million individual pieces of jewelry and the movers are naturally running late. As always. Rachel's apartment takes some serious time to pack up, since so many things are valuable. Meanwhile, Jeremiah has no furniture.


Joey shows up to "help" but that mostly means to give his candid opinion while further terrifying Jeremiah. At least he brings him a coffee with "like eighteen shots", but he also has the helpful comments like "the rug is used" and "there's a stain on it." Jeremiah: It's vintage. Joey: used.  Nice. He also gives comfort like, "If its not done it's all on you!" Joey is such a good partner. It's not like he's trying to worm Jeremiah out at all, nope nope nopers.  Then he bails when things get hectic. Joey is top notch in a crisis.  Poor Jeremiah is up till 3am unpacking the entire house, all alone. There are un-assembled pieces and pieces that still haven't arrived. He. Is. Terrified. This poor guy deserves a medal. He really lays down the law with late movers. You go, girl!  He's like, listen bitch! I NEED MY SHIT. NOW. Oh Jer, I hope you don't get fired. You can come work for me, honey.

But it's good news! Jeremiah rocks this shit. He kills it. Rachel says he "captured everything [she] wanted" and there is nothing she's not happy with. And goddamn, she's right. This house is motherfucking stunning. The good news: Rachel could not be happier with Jeremiah. She sees his skill and his passion and his ability with interior design. The bad news? There is no interior design in Rachel Zoe, Inc. Does he have a place? I guess we'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, can someone get Jer a Xanax? And a triple shot latte? Who's your daddy?

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