I'm pretending it never happened.
I have my reasons, people. Allow me to present them to you in list form:
1. Joe Gorga sniffing Melissa's panties as she packs.
2. The 57,751 references the Gorgas make to doing it. That's a rough estimation.
3. The fact that Teresa loses a bag at the airport and says she lost "one luggage" fifty times. Who taught this woman the English language, seriously.
4. I not only had to watch Joe Giudice piss off a boat, but I had to watch all the men piss on the side of the road. Jersey class all the way.
5. Teresa talking about sex with Joe during her period.
6. Teresa's endless modeling show of all the disgustingly trashy bikinis she brought, some of which she calls The Mermaid and The Gold Goddess. Yeah, she names them.
7. Joe Gorga discussing his erection during his massage.
8. Joe Gorga referring to his penis as "Tarzan" during his massage.
9. Joe Gorga's ass crack showing during his massage.
10. Teresa's squealing and screeching while Caroline has a migraine. Very respectful.
11.Teresa grinding her ass against Juicy Joe in his gross rainbow bathing suit.
12. Joe and Melissa fooling around in the bathroom on the beach. Have you ever used a bathroom on the beach? They are disgusting. That's like doing it in a sewer, I'm just sayin'.
The only thing that made this trip to Punta Cana worth it? Greg. Man, I love me some Greg. Can Greg get his own show? Because I can't take this sex shit anymore. I'm still traumatized by Teresa talking about Joe's cock ring. I get that they're Italian and hot blooded and they have fifty kids and clearly sex is awesome and all that, but good lord. More table throwing, less sex in public bathrooms. I feel you, Caroline.
