This week’s Project Runway begins the night of the final judging, where all the boys are sitting around looking like they’ve been through the ringer. Anthony and Bert have, at least, and they’ve decided to call a truce. Bert’s also decided not to act “like an asshole” anymore, so hooray for self awareness! The girls have decided to create what Anya calls a “clean slate” as well, especially now that all of the ladies are in the same apartment. Becky tells us she was a little nervous about moving in and Laura (who honestly, we haven’t seen very much of yet) says it’s “no secret” that she is not a Becky fan. Except to everyone watching, because you’ve never said that. Whatever.
Everyone looks a little more positive and refreshed when they meet Heidi the next day for their assignment. She sends them off to meet Tim Gunn at the Harlem School of the Arts. Kids! Cute adorable artsy kids! Each designer will get paired up with one of them and create an avant garde look to accompany their work. Some of the designers seem a bit hesitant to work with kids, but I am psyched. It’s a fun, creative assignment and they have two days to do it, which as Tim points out, really shows how ambitious the judges want them to be. Also, I’m glad it’s not an effing group challenge.
These kids? Are talented. For real. Viktor seems pretty freaked out by the very loquacious 12 year old Skyy, who babbles on and on and on, as 12 year old girls tend to do – but her painting is beautiful. Laura has a heart to heart with her artist, the young 11 year old Kai. She tells Kai how hard the last challenge was for her and Kai, more wisely than anyone else in the room is probably capable of, tells her that “failure is opportunity in disguise.” Can we just get a show with these kids instead? I love these kids.
Naturally, Josh M. has issues with his painting. Because he’s a huge dickface, in case you forgot. He has this beautiful painting of a red tree that looks troubling, but as it seeps into the ground it becomes green and spreads. Josh hates it because it’s “organic” looking and he likes “fake things.” We know, we know. God forbid, he can’t bedazzle his garment. He finds it completely uninspiring. I find him completely moronic and I’d like him to shut the fuck up all the time, thanks.
The designers sketch and then take their $300 and go to Mood. When they get back, Viktor has some shit to talk about everyone. Becky makes simple things and probably doesn’t understand avant garde. Anya and Josh and some others have faux fur, feathers, bold color choices, iridescents– all horrible, according to King Viktor. And after seeing Bryce’s sketch, he deems it, “total mermaid, 1985.” Yikes. The curious thing is, everyone seems to have a different definition of avant garde. Some think it’s weird and crazy, wild and outrageous like Lady Gaga
, while others point out that avant garde doesn’t have to be crazy, it just has to be forward thinking.
, while others point out that avant garde doesn’t have to be crazy, it just has to be forward thinking. Josh M. has apparently been reading this over my shoulder, because he totally 180s his attitude about the tree painting. He is painting his skirt fabric to look like wood and creating a heart in it like a carving with his mother’s initials, because he lost her to ovarian cancer. He and Anthony are both in tears as he explains the concept. Well…fine. Then Bert tells everyone that he became an alcoholic after losing his partner of 18 years to AIDS. Now he’s clean and sober, but it was a loss that left him empty and it took him a long time to come out from it. So okay fine, sometimes people are huge, defensive assholes to everyone because they’re coming from a place of pain. Fine Project Runway, fine. I get it and I’m sorry. Sheesh.
Everyone is concerned for Josh C., since he’s come back from being eliminated. And he has this crazy faux fur business that is just kind of terrifying. His artist’s painting is this really cool wolf thing, but this fur…I just…no, honey. When he meets with Tim, they all decide it’s too much, too literal and he needs to edit in a serious way. He finally decides to axe the fur altogether, thank God.
Someone else who should be fretting is Becky. I have to say, I felt bad for Becky last week, but it kind of seems like people are right. She makes cute dresses. That’s it. Her simple denim dress isn’t enough and she tells Tim in bewilderment, she just doesn’t know what to do. Um, honey? Do more than a one shoulder denim party dress with some poofy adornments on one side. It’s just a couple steps above something you could find at Urban Outfitters
, to be honest, and definitely not avant garde. There's a scary moment for Olivier who is very slow and spends most of the episode second guessing himself and not doing very much at all. In a moment of desperation, he begins to glue the bodice of his dress to his model's breast, so as to prevent a nip slip. But Tim Gunn says no-no, against the rules! Man, I am so disappointed that there wasn't a nip slip. Sigh. Things are so hard for me sometimes! And then it's off to the runway. Nina Garcia is out cooking lost children in her oven this week, so filling in is Senior Fashion Editor of Marie Claire, Zanna Roberts Rassi, as well as the much more exciting special guest Kenneth Cole. Olivier's model doesn't show any boobie, but it's very boring. Viktor's is gorgeous and his artist Skyy loves it too, giving it a Paris Hilton-esque "that's hot." Josh M.'s is both ugly and stunning. Anya's and Anthony's are also fantastic. Josh C.'s, in my opinion, is much improved after that crazy fur mess he had before, even though she kind of looks like a vampire hooker. I hate Bert's with a burning passion, but that's because of the high waisted parachute pants. I mean my god, who decided that MC Hammer
is not only acceptable but fashion forward and avant garde? Gross.
. Olivier's model doesn't show any boobie, but it's very boring. Viktor's is gorgeous and his artist Skyy loves it too, giving it a Paris Hilton-esque "that's hot." Josh M.'s is both ugly and stunning. Anya's and Anthony's are also fantastic. Josh C.'s, in my opinion, is much improved after that crazy fur mess he had before, even though she kind of looks like a vampire hooker. I hate Bert's with a burning passion, but that's because of the high waisted parachute pants. I mean my god, who decided that MC Hammer is not only acceptable but fashion forward and avant garde? Gross.The judges are sort of aligned with me. They love Josh M., Anthony and Laura. They really dislike Olivier and Josh C.. They're torn on Bert - everyone hates it but Heidi. Things do not look very good for Olivier - I think Heidi says the word "sad" about eight times in one sentence, describing it. Also used: drab, depressing, boring, snore, a rude snoring-like noise and the Michael Kors-ism "Valium fashion." But in the end, it's poor Josh C. who is sent home again. Poor thing! Anthony takes the win and gets immunity next week, which really makes me happy. I think he, Bert and Josh M. made some important strides this week, both personally and as designers (despite the Hammer Time pants). Then again, based on the previews for next week, all these good vibes go to shit and everyone cries. So maybe Josh C. got out (again) just in time.
