. Which, as all intelligent people already realize, has no impact on anything other than the decline of society as we know it.2. Kris Humphries is boring. Has he said two words since they started dating? I don't need him to be T.S. fucking Elliot, but for a family who can never shut their damn traps, it kind of seems like Kim is marrying a big bag of bricks. I know he's a famous athlete (naturally) but man, is he boring. Every time I see him, I think, who's that again? Oh right, not Reggie Bush
.3. This is really just an excuse for more product placement and publicity at the hands of Kris Jenner, aka one of the most repulsive people (I refuse to call her a mother, and even more I refuse to call her a "momager," as she likes to say) ever on the planet. Remember when she got a facelift on national television to prep for the wedding? Yeah, she's that person. I'm sure there will be gift bags stuffed with Dash T-shirts that say "Kim Finally Kaught One", a sample of her Kim Kardashian For Women
perfume, maybe some of her Sephora make up collection and a few Quick Trim diet pills thrown in, just for laughs.4. Every time something happens to one of the Kardashian's, we get a fucking spin-off show. I can see it already. Kim and Kris picking a house. Kim and Kris fighting with Kris Jenner over picking a house. Kim and Kris settling in to their new married life. Kim and Kris Jenner pressuring her non-stop to start popping out babies. Kim and Kris having normal, everyday married-people squabbles, Kris Jenner anonymously calling TMZ to report marriage trouble - then yelling at Kim for it on speakerphone as she whips through the streets of Calabasas because she has things to do, dammit. Uncomfortable photo shoots where Kim sticks her ass out and Kris Humphries awkwardly stands next to her (it) unsure of what to do until they hand him a basketball to hold. Don't we already have this show? Yes we do, it's called Khloe & Lamar, but that won't stop them. And to top it off, we'll have fewer Sex and the City
re-runs to watch when we're bored. Thanks, Ryan Seacrest. Thanks a lot.5. The unending coverage of the wedding, and post-wedding, will only continue if people care. Why do people care so much about this family? I have no idea. I live in Miami and sometimes I drive down Washington Avenue, home of Dash's Miami store, and there are always people standing outside taking pictures. Not because they are inside filming - they typically are not. No, of a storefront. People are photographing a storefront. It makes me sad. I understand getting excited about weddings, especially weddings full of famous people. They are fun! People look pretty! And, in all honestly, I wish Kim Kardashian the best. I don't pity her, because this is the life she's paved for herself, but she cannot have it easy at times. I hope this dude makes her happy. I am sure she'll look beautiful, because she's like an Arabian Barbie collector's edition doll. I'm sure it will all be lovely. But people, please. Get real. This kind of shit needs to stop.
