Remember last week when the corpse of LaToya Jackson came to America's Next Top Model and generously didn't send anyone home? That happened. Is it tasteless to make a Jackson family corpse joke right now? I mean, in light of the whole Jackson family corpse thing happening? Probably. Oops. Well right, LaToya-no-corpse-joke-Jackson didn't send anyone home, although Angelea and Lisa were in the bottom two. Bianca, meanwhile, pissed everyone off. Bre mentions that while she is always there to stick up for her sister Bianca, she's fallen in the competition and needs to start thinking more about herself. For a minute I was really confused and thought they were actually related, but I think she means "sistah," right?
The following day, the models meet Nigel Barker on the beach for their challenge, which is a "Charity Challenge." Nigel is with Brittny Gastineau and Julie Henderson. I literally have no effing idea who they are. Luckily, the title on the screen tells me that Julie Henderson is a "Fiercely Real Supermodel," unlike the cyborgs we've been watching. Bre also lets us know that Brittny is an "incredible socialite that everyone strives to be at some point in their life," and I'm certain that is not true at all. Also, she spells her name Brittny? Really? Ew. The models will be playing flag football along with the previously eliminated models, plus some NFL players just for fun. And for testosterone. The Red Team is made up of Shannon, Kayla, Alexandria and Lisa. Lisa tells us that she's "incredibly fit" while Kayla says she'll be great because lesbians are great at sports. Nice fighting those gay stereotypes, Kayla! Keep it up!
The Blue Team is made up of Bre, Laura, Angelea, and Bianca. You're getting that Lisa and Bianca are on opposing teams, right? Right. Brittny and Julie have pom poms. This is stupid. In addition to playing flag football, the girls will have to grab an NFL player and pose for the camera every time one of them throws a flag and calls a model's name. The winning team gets $5,000 for charity, plus some seriously ugly jewelry from Gastineau Glamour. Honestly, this shit looks like it came from the rhinestone section of Claire's. Gross.
At their photo challenge the next day, the models meet up with Mr. Jay. He's dressed like an extra on Boardwalk Empire and with him is supermodel Coco Rocha. She is very long, you guys. They will be doing a "bitch fight" photo shoot, each paired up and posing with Coco. Famous photographer Daniel Friedman is shooting them and he looks like a Mario brother. The first pairing is Shannon and Bianca, who you remember had quite the bitch fight of their own last week. Or rather, Bianca was a bitch and Shannon cried a lot about being a Christian. Allison and Kayla are next and they do not do well. Allison keeps flailing around, making it impossible for Mario to get a good shot of her. Mr. Jay is embarrassed for them. Yikes.
Coco apparently also teaches posing and Angelea asks her for some advice about angles. Her advice? Just move. Um, thanks. Angelea and Laura do their thing with Coco and Angelea is just tanking. She has no energy at all. In a totally out of character moment, she gets super intimidated by Coco and starts to cry. After a pep talk from Mr. Jay though, she picks it back up. Bre and Alexandria are next and Bre just fucking loses it. Like, she goes completely apeshit, screaming her head off and freaking Coco Rocha out. I think "concentrating on herself more" is not going so well. She's not showing off the clothes or posing - she is just having a fit. The last pairing is Dominique and Lisa and they do quite well. God, will we never be rid of Lisa?
At panel, most of the girls receive positive feedback. The photos seemed pretty lame while they were shooting, but I have to admit they look really cool - very dynamic and interesting. Then there's Bre and Alexandria. Tyra tells Alexandria that her melodramatic expression makes her look like a reality show contestant who got to pose with a supermodel. Um, isn't that exactly what she is? I mean, really? Bre, of course also gets slammed, because she lost her effing mind and looked ridiculous as a result. In the end, it's Lisa and Dominique who come out on top, with Dominique winning best photo. I have to admit, the tranny is working it. Naturally, Bre gets kicked to the curb. She hugs Alexandria goodbye and then walks off without allowing Tyra to pass on any parting words or hugging anyone else. So much for sisters.
Winning photo:
