Last week on Project Runway, there were birds! Also, Anya decided to stop being nice to everyone, Kimberly had a total meltdown and Bert went home for not representing "the joy of the bird," whatever that means. We are down to just five designers and Josh is ready for Anya to go home. He complains to Viktor that at this point in the competition, all the contestants should be the best of the best when it comes to stitching, tailoring and whatnot and Anya can barely sew. I am still an Anya fan, but I have to admit that Josh has a point. Anya is also stressing about Anya, mostly because she's had a lot of wins lately and is really feeling the pressure.
Heidi tells them it's the final challenge and the remaining contestants will be showing at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. Of course, in reality the top nine contestants all showed at Fashion Week (spoilers if you click!) to prevent results from leaking, but these final four will be the ones actually eligible for the Project Runway win. The five designers get on the ferry and head to Governer's Island where they meet Tim Gunn and some big wigs for the island who are like, this island is "an artist's playground!" and some junk. This smells like a tourism ad, I'm just saying. Their final challenge is to create three looks inspired by Governer's Island. The looks must show range, meaning they can't do three jumpers, and they have $500 and two days to do it. They also have golf carts. Whee!
Josh explores and is taken by the large cannon. I'll bet he is. He says he really likes the "artillerary," which I guess is close enough to what the actual word is. He likes the idea of fragility meeting strength and power. I think he also likes phallic symbols. Viktor likes the metropolitan, high end feel of the island. Anya is most inspired by the sculpture. At Mood, Laura gets like $700 worth of materials together because she likes "the finer things in life," which to me means "I don't know how to add." Back in the workroom, they have barely started when Tim comes in with the dreaded Button Bag Of Doom. Luckily, it's good news! To no surprise to anyone who has seen this show before, the last five eliminated contestants return to help them out.
Laura comments that she's happy to see "some of them." Ha, truth. I'm looking at you, Olivier. Kimberly chooses Becky to work with, who mentions that she's relieved because she hates everyone else in the room. Yes, we remember, Becky. You don't get along with anyone. Man, I just remembered how annoying you were. Viktor chooses Olivier, Laura chooses Anthony, Anya chooses Bert and this leaves Josh with Bryce. In the process, she makes a little joke and Josh snaps at her. Thus it begins. Bryce, for his part, isn't totally excited to work for Josh. I don't blame him.
Josh explains his stained glass inspired idea to him and Bryce can already tell that Josh needs to edit. This is nothing new. He mentions that he thinks Laura might be doing a similar design and Josh is all, "At this point I don't even care, she has nothing on me." Well then. Bryce comments that when he left, everyone loved each other and now the final five barely seem to talk. I would like to point out that when Bryce left, everyone also hated each other and he is remembering incorrectly. I seem to recall full-on death matches between Josh, Bert, Laura, Anthony and Becky. But hey, remember it the way you want.
Olivier is having a hard time not being a massive dickwad, because it goes entirely against his nature. He tells Viktor that he hates his fabric choice. Um, so what? You got eliminated. You are the equivalent of a fashion sous chef. Just make what he tells you. Olivier compares his task to slavery, because he has to do Viktor's designs without giving any input or receiving any pay. Because the designers "don't really care and just want the help". Hey, listen asshole. You're on a national television show which, by the way, you voluntarily auditioned for. You signed a release and you presumably are familiar with the previous eight years of the show. So perhaps you knew that you might not always get to do things your way. That's why it's a competition. Which you lost. So shut the fuck up and make Viktor's designs. Of course he doesn't care about your opinion. Of course he just wants the help. He's in the finals, you moron. God.
Meanwhile, Josh be hatin'. He's whispering to Bryce nonstop about Anya and how he "just had $20,000 stolen from [him] by a beauty queen," which is pretty harsh. He questions whether it was the beauty or the talent that got her the win. That's a pretty crappy attitude, dude. I mean, say she doesn't know how to sew, sure. She kind of doesn't. But stooping to the "she won because she's pretty" thing just seems so dumb and petty. Anya can sense it, too. She feels the haterade vibrating throughout the room. I kind of feel bad for her.
Tim comes in to see how they're doing. Laura has this circular shaped pattern throughout all her designs, which Tim thinks is a little too much. As of right now, I agree. Kimberly is using this bright ass mother fucking orange wool with this jeweled bodice and these weird metallic textured pants. It's kind of horrid and I want to cry. Viktor comments that while Anya is a great designer, she doesn't know how to make shit. He questions if she can even make a sleeve and, good point. Has she ever? Josh complains that the challenge called for range and she's not doing any separates. Also a good point. Anya, honey, I still like you, but I have to admit that the boys are not just being catty.
Kimberly is having big problems. She changes her mind like, fifty times. I swear, Becky has created about ten different pieces for her. Her horrid metallic pants do not close, exposing her model's ass, so she has to scrap that - and that's just one of many last minute edits she makes. It's pretty clear at this point, she has no idea what she's doing. Laura is also making last minute changes and she's having serious fit problems with her dress. Unfortunately, it's runway time and they have to deal with what they've done. By the way, Josh is wearing this neon watermelon suit jacket that is absolutely blinding. I just needed to mention that.
Our guest judge is Zoe Saldana, which is presented as something we're supposed to get super excited about. In the final challenge, they couldn't get an effing designer to judge? What the hell? We get the girl from Center Stage instead? How lame. In my opinion, each of the designers have some good pieces and bad pieces. Josh has a great white dress with an almost armor-like top piece, but he also has a horrid shimmery drape dress. Kimberly actually does alright, considering. Her palette is crap and her collection is not cohesive, but one short dress is quite hot. Laura has a great idea, but her execution is basically a hot mess. It looks like wallpaper my grandmother had in the 1980s. She kind of freaks out and cries to the judges. Michael Kors basically tells her she choked. Ouch. I honestly find Anya's to be a little boring this time around. They're chic, but not terribly interesting to me. However, the judges love them. Josh looks like he wants to puke. Viktor's pieces are great. This is me putting it out there: he should win. He's a bitch, but he should win. Heidi is a little harsh, though. Nina and Zoe wish he'd done a little more and Michael Kors thinks it's very "commercial" - it's unclear if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It kind of seems like it's a bad thing.
I would like to know why they are suddenly so anti-commercial. What happened last year, when they actually had an excellent avant garde designer who could sew and they didn't give him the win? Why on earth did Mondo lose to Gretchen, who did nothing but regurgitate the Urban Outfitters catalogue all season? Now they seem to be more in favor of creativity than marketability, which I support but, um. Mondo is so much better than Anya? This kills me. If Mondo doesn't own it in the All-Star version of Project Runway, Im'a eat my hat. Team Mondo! Right sorry, back to this season. In the end, the judges decide to send four people to Fashion Week. It's Laura who is auf'd while Josh, Anya, Viktor and Kimberly will be competing for the grand prize. As Laura heads home, they head off to begin their final collections.
