Three weeks later and I hope they got some damn sleep. Tim Gunn is on his way to Maryland to visit Kimberly. I'm going to be honest with you: I'm not a Kimberly fan. It's not that I think she's untalented, I just don't see much of a designer in her. She spent a lot of the season floating around, directionless. But not in an "I can't narrow down my focus" way - more like an "I have no real creative vision" kind of way. Sure, she can sew better than Anya, but at least Anya has a point of view. I don't think I could look at something and say, "Wow, that's so Kimberly," because I still don't know who she is as a designer. This totally should have been Laura or Anthony Ryan. Hmmph.
Okay, rant over. Kimberly and her dumb collection, right. Growing up in pre-gentrified Brooklyn was rough, but she rose above it and her collection revolves around the "upscale urban girl," which I guess means Kimberly herself. It's all bright colors and trendy, but it's also something I've seen at Macys fifty times. Tim reminds her to wow the judges and Kimberly notes that she doesn't want it to be boring. Honey, it is. It really is. Hilariously, though, Tim goes on and on about how this is "so her" and completely contradicts everything I've just said. Well, I don't care what you think Tim Gunn, I think her shit is generic. That being said, I dig Kimberly as a person. The makeshift family that she's built since the passing of her parents and brother is very sweet and touching to witness. Kimberly tells us that her mother was and still remains her style inspiration.
Next, Tim is off to Trinidad to see Anya, who has a really nice fucking house. Damn. She has lunch with Tim and her two brothers and tells Tim that the passing of another brother really inspired her to follow her dreams in fashion. Then she talks about the water and the texture of the ocean and the waves and the sea life and the lift of her voice sort of lulls me into a coma for a while. I snap out of it when she says she's going to show Tim the fabric she's gathered, which is...all she has. Seriously. Three weeks and all Anya has managed to do is buy some fabric. Tim is like, "This fabric is pretty, where are the items?" and she's like, "Uhhh..." Tim is a bit baffled. Me too. I mean, how do you waste that much time? Tim asks if she's aware that no one can help her. Yeah, she is. She's just lost. Poor Anya.
Tim leaves Anya to, ya know, make some shit and heads to New York to meet with Viktor. FYI: I think Viktor should win. He's got an actual workroom full of actual designs and clothes. I know, crazy right? No offense to Anya, really - I think creatively, she's top notch. But I also think she needs a year or so's experience before she takes on something as big as winning Project Runway. But anyway, Viktor! He is on the fifth floor and there's no elevator! Tim Gunn: "Grandpa's tired!" Ha! Oh, Tim, such a card. Viktor's collection is called "Urban Coast," which is admittedly a dumb name. His inspiration was a trip to Guadalajara, Mexico, where he went to "celebrate" his brother's "death anniversary," which...is sort of creepy. But I'm a spiritually closed off American, so what do I know? Maybe death anniversaries are the place for artistic inspiration and that's why I've never written my novel. Who knows!
I know you're gonna be shocked by this, but Viktor is doing this for his dead brother. Okay, is it possible to make fashion without a dead relative? Honest question. His pieces are typical Viktor, with awesome jackets and lots of really cool ruffly looking things. Then Tim meets Viktor's boyfriend David and they are kind of nauseatingly adorable together. Tim always seems most at ease around gay couples, doesn't he? He's always a little formal and uptight around families. Just an observation after nine seasons of home visits.
Aaaand finally, we're off to Queens to visit Josh. I won't make a queen joke, I won't I wont'! Josh is with his sister, who looks exactly effing like him. Like, it's weird. It's like Josh in a wig. Josh tells Tim about how he was a big sports guy growing up and Tim is hilariously flabbergasted. He wants to make a queen joke, too. Josh says that he actually got quite a few track and field scholarships, but he wanted to leave that "Midwest world" behind and chase his big gay fashion dreams in New York instead. How coming of age! I'll bet he met a dashing older man in a hotel lounge who taught him the hard lessons of love and life in the big city. Obviously. Josh's collection is full of hideously bright colors and garish prints. Tim pretty much hates it. There's a lot of neon green, and that's probably never a good idea unless you're a member of Cobra Starship. That being said, it's very Josh. That being said, Josh is usually super tacky. Tim makes him throw out about five or six fabrics. He wants to weep over it. Josh looks like a gimmick, like he's trying too hard. It's kind of painful. When he's done, Josh is left with two garments and way more work to do.
Two weeks later and everyone arrives at their gorgeous penthouse apartment. It's seriously beautiful and way nicer than anything I remember the finalists getting in previous seasons. Look at Lifetime TV, shelling out the dough. Josh arrives first and I really thought he was going to be the one to refrain from mentioning dead family members, but he's instantly all "the sunlight on the balcony was my dead mom" and shit. Ugh. Anya arrives next, quickly followed by Kimberly who is adorably like, "We get to live here?" Viktor shows up moments later and honestly, have you ever noticed that he likes to play the role of the reality show cliche? He's all, "I like them, but they are my enemy because I want to win!" and shit. Okay, okay, we get it. It's a competition, blah blah.
This is a wonderful segue to the inevitable scene where everyone sees everyone else's line. Here's a shocker: no one likes what anyone else did. I know! I am surprised, too! Anya doesn't like Kimberly's color palette. Viktor thinks that Josh has gone too casual. Blah, blah, haterade. Tim meets with the four designers and reminds them that only three will move on to compete in Fashion Week. They each must choose three looks from their collection to present to the judges. Viktor immediately whips out this amazing white jacket and pants. Josh, Anya and Kimberly collectively poo themselves. Yeah, gauntlet thrown, says Viktor. Even Josh is like, "That jacket is everything." Josh's collection has definitely improved, but Tim still thinks he's lacking cohesion. Spoiler alert: he is. Kimberly is also all over the place. She likes it all! She cannot choose just three!
Thank God it's runway time! I love Viktor's three looks. Love them. Anya's are all pretty, but they are boring and don't look very well made. Where are all her pretty blue ocean-y things? What happened to them? I...still hate Kimberly's stuff, sorry. I can't even tell if it's good, it's just so not my taste. Also, it looks cheap. Just saying. Josh's are more polished than I expected and look quite stylish. Weird, right? The judges mostly hate Anya's. Closer examination shows that all of them are poorly made. Her styling also blows. Kimberly doesn't do much better. Her stuff is badly styled and her horrible pink "bubble butt" skirt is probably the worst thing she's ever made. Seriously, it's wretched.
Viktor's line is more favorably received. Their main complaint is that all his pieces are excellent separately, but he doesn't need to have all of them together at once. They actually say the "everything" jacket detracts from the dress - but this doesn't stop Heidi from trying it on and almost stealing it for herself. They love Josh! Even Nina tells him how impressed she is. Well dang. It's obviously down to Kimberly and Anya - the boys are for sure safe. As the judges decide, the four designers wait holding hands. "We're all connected," says Josh and then they sing "Circle of Life" until Heidi calls them back out. And...all of them are going to Fashion Week! Seriously? Ugh, after all that? I guarantee that they just didn't want to send Anya home after kissing her ass all season. But both she and Kimberly have a lot of work to do - can they pull it off? Who cares, Team Viktor all the way, baby.
Anya:
Josh:
Viktor:
Kimberly:
