. There is sad, respectful music and the date on the screen is August 29, 2011. Just a week ago. This is the "special reunion" episode, I guess. Both the Housewives and their husbands are there. It's awkward. It's depressing. Kyle Richards brings up the issue of money and appearance, and the financial troubles the Armstrongs were having. They also discuss the Armstrongs' failing marriage. Kyle says it's difficult not to feel some responsibility, and she knows that Taylor does - but no one is to blame. This was Russell's choice. They have to move on. And that's it, screen to black. They let us know that the season was filmed before his death (duh) and then, the real premiere begins.When I first heard about this "special reunion" segment, I blogged about my skepticism of the whole thing. I feared this wasn't a way to pay tribute or deal with the issues at hand, but a way for Bravo to remind everyone that they are not to blame. And Kyle drives that home. I'm not saying it was scripted - but I am saying it was edited with intent. It wasn't the show's fault. It was Russell's financial problems in a failing economy, the immense pressure of keeping wealth and status in Beverly Hills, the despair at his wife leaving him. Not the show, not Bravo. And that very well might be true - but the whole thing felt calculated and it's kind of gross. I suppose they couldn't do nothing, but it just felt so staged, despite the fact that these women are likely, legitimately hurting in some way.
But as Kyle reminds us, we must move on. The first half of the episode is fairly nondescript and boring. I heard that the initial opening scene was of Taylor picking out lingerie to “spice up” her marriage, which they obviously cut. God, that’s depressing. We learn that Lisa Vanderpump’s daughter is getting engaged, Kyle and her family are getting a new house, and Camille is moving on from her divorce by going through all the crap Kelsey Grammer (what an asshole, seriously) shipped to her like, take care of this mess, I’m busy with my new mistress. Awesome guy. Kim is having a hard time forgiving Kyle for their fight last season, but Kyle is working on reconciliation.
What are Adrienne Maloof and her husband Paul up to, you ask? Well, they are throwing a dinner party, of course! They bicker, as they do, except it comes off a little less affectionately than it did last season. We meet Bernie the chef, who probably needs his own show on Bravo. Apparently, Lisa once said something critical about his cooking and he spends the entire episode warily eyeballing her like he might just fillet her if she makes one negative comment. It’s kind of hilarious. It’s pretty much the only thing that’s hilarious throughout the entire episode.
Naturally, Taylor goes to the bathroom to cry. Kyle accompanies to console her (read: butt in) and it’s all very depressing. Taylor notes sadly that she didn’t try to defend herself against Ken, which is something she’s clearly been working on with Russell in therapy. Again: depressing. As she calms herself down, Lisa tells us that Taylor is manipulative and is coercing Kyle to side with her against Lisa. Am I missing something here? I don’t really remember this animosity between Taylor and Lisa last season – did it happen, or are they just stirring up new trouble? And god, this is beyond tacky, setting Taylor up as a manipulative drama queen just two weeks after her husband hangs himself. Nice.
Regardless, when Kyle returns (sans Taylor) she tells Ken that he “offended” Taylor, and then he gets super “offended” over the word “offended” and they have an argument about semantics for like, three solid minutes of footage. Seriously. He thinks it’s too strong of a word. He would have chosen “upset.” He is very adamant about it. Then Ken lets Giggy the fucking Pomeranian drink from his cocktail at the table, which completely grosses everyone out. As it should. Man, I hate those people. I was having brunch once, and this woman let her toy dog on the table next to me to finish off her eggs. It was disgusting. Attention crazy dog people: save your horrible manners for your own house! Good god. Anyways, Ken acts like a huge prick and even though he semi-apologizes when Taylor returns, he seems to be genuinely baffled that she was offended – oh, excuse me, upset at all. He and Lisa cut out early, with lots of hoo-ha about how Lisa doesn’t really like Taylor all that much.
I’m clearly not the only one who feels this way, but according to an interview from the Today show (watch below), they are taking the “high road” and “doing something positive” by “getting the message out” for suicide prevention. Sure, okay. And according to Kyle, Taylor supports all of this, including airing the show. I don’t know. This seems like a lot of airbrushing to me, but I suppose I should expect that from these Beverly Hills reality queens.