With eight designers left, there is no more immunity and it's every woman, man or manchild for themselves. They arrive for their challenge and Tim Gunn explains that they will be working with rock and roll this week, citing the longstanding connection between music and fashion. Rolling Stone magazine held a contest to feature an unsigned band in a special issue, and the winners were Canadian group The Sheepdogs. Peter Butler from Garnier (who has so much eyeliner on it's distracting) explains that for many artists, it's not just about the music, but about creating a unique and iconic style. Their assignment is to take The Sheepdogs "to the next level" by creating an image for them. The winning look will be featured in both Marie Claire and Rolling Stone. This all sounds pretty cool...then you see The Sheepdogs. You guys, one look at this band and I know for a fact they do not care about creating an iconic style for themselves. For real, they just want to groove. They are pretty good, if you like throwback 70s style stuff like The Allman Brothers Band (I don't). But I mean, they have long hair, beards, thrift store plaid, scuffed cowboy boots...they wear corduroy pants for God's sake. These dudes are not looking to become the next fashion icons of rock. Poor guys. I'm sure this was just part of the Rolling Stone deal and they had no choice. I guess at least they're getting the exposure.
The designers chat with the guys in the band, who are all kind of adorable. Guitarist Leot has always wanted a pair of red bell bottom jeans (haven't we all, Leot?) and Laura chooses this as her task. Josh is drawn to bassist Ryan because of his snake skin boots. Olivier is very confident about this challenge, because he's the only one with solid experience in menswear. The teams meet and discuss their plans. Surprisingly, Bert, Laura, Anthony and Anya figure everything out quickly and smoothly and call themselves Team Harmony. Team Harmony is kind of cute, guys. Anthony says they need to think 70s vintage, and Bert is all, "Hey I was there! I can help!" It's the first time Bert is charming all season. Kimberly, Viktor, Josh and Olivier are Team Untitled. How creative. Olivier is already bitching because he ends up with lead singer Ewan. Menswear, the idiot tells us, is all about fit and proportion and he got "the biggest guy" so he is "at a disadvantage." Oh goody, another episode of Olivier Hates Fat People. I'm so thrilled. And what does that even mean? Is women's wear not about fit and proportion? Shut up, Olivier.
At Mood, both Anya and Olivier struggle with their fabric choices. Laura overspends by about $150 and Bert lends her the money he has left over. You guys, why is Bert being so nice and lovable now? I like this Bert! Maybe it's the whole 1970s vibe that's bringing out the best in him. Maybe he slipped out back to burn one? I don't know. Anyways, back at Parson's, Olivier is upset that his mannequin isn't bigger. He describes Ewan as "massive" and whines a whole lot. This kid is seriously starting to piss me off. Ewan is not fat. Honestly, he isn't. He's just a normal dude! I don't know what planet Olivier lives on, for real. If he has experience in menswear, has all the menswear he's designed been for twee Asian boys? I don't get it!
They meet with Guyliner Extraordinaire Peter Butler about their Garnier style for the clients. The funny thing about The Sheepdogs is they all are pretty disheveled. Lots of long, unruly hair, lots of goatees and beards. It's very tour bus chic and not very fashion forward, but it's also who they are. Ewan is like, do not shave me. Just do not. He needs his goatee. Ewan is cute, guys. I feel bad for him. Bert is the other designer working with Ewan, and his problem is that he's dyed his fabric and it's come out purple instead of navy. The end result is a pretty feminine looking outfit. Bert needs to scrap and start over. Laura is also trying to achieve the right color red for Leot's jeans. Anya's meeting with drummer Sam goes well, but it isn't looking too good to me. She's making a dashiki, which is what he wants, but I'm wary. Maybe it's because I hate dashikis? Viktor is making a jacket that looks freaking awesome and he's distressing the jeans by hand. I am going to put it out there right now: Viktor might win this whole show.
Josh is working on the pants for Ryan the guitarist, and there's a zipper that goes straight down the middle of the crotch. And then this hilarious exchange occurs:
Josh: "I have this zipper..."
Tim: "Zipper?"
Josh: "You don't like that?"
Tim: "Well, I don't know. I just think it draws your eye to the crotch."
Josh: "....Right. We're on the same wavelength then!"
He's like, duh Tim. Duh. Rock and roll. Guitars. I'm gay. Let me accent his penis, okay? Ryan seems okay with it. Tim blushes. It's great. It's almost enough to get me through Ewan's meeting with Olivier. Almost. He calls Ewan "big" about eight times. Ewan is like, "Alright, you're saying I'm big." And Olivier the asshat is like, "Yes, you are. You are big." Tim Gunn looks aghast at how rude he is. I wish someone would slap Olivier, for real. Ewan just looks bewildered. Then Olivier complains about the fucking mannequin again. Tim is like, you have Ewan's measurements, what's the problem? The problem is that Olivier is a whiny little sissy baby, Tim. That's the problem. I don't think he's talentless, but at this point I think he just needs to go home. All he's managed to make are pinned together pants that are low waisted like women's jeans and also go straight up Ewan's ass in one hell of a wedgie. Poor Ewan. Even Tim is like, what the fuck, Olivier?
The cool thing about this episode is that instead of walking the runway, The Sheepdogs will perform two songs in front of the judges in each team's looks. That's kind of neat! At thirty minutes till showtime, poor Ewan is sitting in his underwear as Olivier is in the back room sewing. Still. When he comes out, the shirt is too tight, the sleeves are unfinished and the pockets are not level. It's also ugly as sin. Why did he pick a swan print? The pants have no fastener. Olivier: "I don't think I have a time management problem." Sure thing! Kimberly's shirt looks like a bowling shirt, or as Bert suggests, a fast food uniform. Not hot. Bert's outfit looks much, much better, but then they braid Ewan's hair into pigtails. Now Ewan will be a Viking Hippie. Why does everyone hate Ewan? I think this whole situation might have traumatized him.
Concert time! Joining Heidi, Nina and Michael is "fashion forward" musician Adam Lambert, who I actually love (as a person; his music is terrible), but man. He has become so tanorexic, I don't even know what to think! I didn't know it was possibly to sit next to Michael Kors and be more orange, but somehow Adam is pulling it off. Yikes. Josh looks a little excited by Adam's presence in the, ya know, excited kind of way. Team Harmony's looks are first and The Sheepdogs perform a nice, bluesy number I'm too lazy to look up the title of. Adam Lambert is rocking out. Anya's look is sloppy and ugly and she knows it. Ewan definitely looks like an idiot in those pigtails. Laura and Anthony are probably safe.
The band changes and it's time for Team Untitled's concert. Viktor's jacket is incredible. Josh's crotch-focused pants are actually really cool looking and yes, they definitely make you stare at Ryan's package. Kimberly's shirt is still a nightmare and Olivier's entire ensemble is a mess. He notes that he may have "some proportion problems" which is like saying that Josh is "a little gay."
At the judge's panel, Laura and Bert are praised. Nina loves the pigtails. It gives him an "identity," and I think Nina is a moron if she thinks "silly Viking braids on a grown man" is an identity. Anya is slammed. Insults include: Brady Bunch dashiki, suede lobster bib, eighth grade production of Hair, Pocahontas and reggae Jesus. Ouch. Anya is horrified, because she knows she's being nailed and she deserves it. Meanwhile, Adam Lambert is loving Michael Kors. For Team Untitled, Olivier is also railed, especially because he's the only one with menswear experience. The print is awful, everything is poorly made, he didn't listen to his client, his sleeves are unfinished and he rolled them up to hide it. Generally, they are extremely disappointed in Olivier. Bless Ewan, because he is so polite about the whole thing, even though he looks completely wretched. Kimberly's garment is unpopular as well. Michael Kors calls it "Peter Brady at an autumn harvest" and Adam Lambert has hearts in his eyes.Viktor and Josh do very well. Everyone is crazy for the jacket. It looks expensive as hell and it's actually pleather. Nina is especially impressed by his detailed leather braiding. Josh describes his exposed zipper as "something he would be attracted to as a viewer" and Adam Lambert meets his eyes with a knowing chuckle. Heidi likes the zipper, too. I think the real winner this week is Ryan, the guitarist of The Sheepdogs, who has received constant praise for his penis. But in reality, the win goes to Viktor because he is amazing. And because someone up there likes me, Olivier is Auf'd. I will not miss you, you whining, offensive, ignorant little child. If I never have to hear you speak again, it will be too soon.
