Anyways, Project Runway, yes, this show about fashion. Or is it a show about fighting? I'm not so sure this season. Heidi announces to the contestants that they will not be using their usual models for this challenge. Looks of trepidation pass over their faces. Then a group of men start walking out. The trepidation turns to full-on fear. Menswear? No one knows how to make menswear! And then, my God. They realize that these are not male models, but actual normal men. Immediately everyone is like, "Oh my God just kill me now, I cannot design for fat people" (none of these men are fat) and "What the hell am I supposed to do with these huge gargantuan men who are not waifish women?! I am so perplexed by their shoulders!" (they are seriously all normal men) and "What the hell, this is fashion, not Walmart, I cannot design for these big, gross, unattractive people! And did I mention they are fat! Ew!" and etc. It's completely ridiculous. It's as if Heidi was like, "Hey now you all have to design for a humpback whale, okay? Good luck!" Shut up, designers.
They are very pleased, of course when they find out that they are not actually designing menswear. No, they are designing an outfit for the men's wives. Oh, the relief! But then, for some, a new horror awaits...breasts. Dun dun dunnnnnn. See, in the real world, women have tits. It's like this thing we all have. I've got a pair and, if you're a girl, I'm pretty sure you do, too. Unless you're a model. Then you know better than to have pesky breasts, which just get in the way of beautiful clothing! God forbid. Anyway, boobs. They are horrifying, especially for Olivier.
Lots of other nice stuff happens, though it's mostly overshadowed by Olivier's endless complaints. But let's talk about some of them. Bert's client is actually the polar opposite of Olivier. He describes himself as "the boobie monster," and wants Bert to make a garment that will show off his wife's impressive rack. He actually motorboats the mannequin at one point. Amazing. Anthony's client is quite enjoyable as well. It turns out that he lost his wife's favorite dress at an airport and he'd like Anthony to recreate the dress as a gift. Very sweet. Josh's client is a very nice, soft spoken man who tells Josh that his wife is very conservative. Josh has a lot of trouble fighting his own bedazzling instincts, but he's surprisingly not a jerk about it.
Meanwhile, in Tataphobialand, Olivier is having trouble meeting with his clients. He just wants quiet. There is "too much energy." He says he has "a lot of ego" in his designs and doesn't like to be told what to create. He isn't really interested in "compromising [his] aesthetic point of view," even though that's kind of the entire point of having a client. You need to create for them. Idiot. You guys, I hate Olivier now.
One other person having trouble is Bryce. His client's wife has an affinity for pink, and Bryce is not a fan. But unlike some people, he realizes that he has to do pink anyway. Unfortunately, he chooses a horrible pink. The outfit is basically alright, but Bryce just is not feeling it at all. Poor Bryce. He really tries, but he knows he's in trouble. He ends up second guessing himself to death and scrapping his entire outfit at the last minute. Obviously, this ends up being a mistake.
Meanwhile, Olivier's client thinks the pants ride up her ass a little (they do) and he tells us that he's "sick of this shit." He wishes that people could just come to him and "shut up." He prefers a "non-speaking person" who will just "do their job" and not talk back. You know what I wish, Olivier? I wish you would shut the fuck up. Also, why do you spell your name Olivier and pronounce it like Oliver? You complete ass.
Runway time! Generally, the clients are pleased, even the ones who end up in the bottom. Anya, Josh and Victor make it to the top, and Josh ends up taking the win. I have to admit, this is a complete surprise to me. Not that his outfit won - I actually really like it - but that he managed not only to be cooperative with his client, but create something lovely that is so outside of his comfort zone. Good for him. The judges are all pleasantly surprised as well. In the bottom are Bert, Bryce and Anthony. This makes me sad. The outfits are not good, that is true, but they all tried so hard to please their clients. In the end, Bryce and his Pepto disaster are sent home. Poor Bryce.
As for Olivier, he goes on to design another day. Hopefully next week, his client will be a mute, lobotomized, prepubescent girl. I just can't handle another Tataphobic seizure, you know?
