I haven't talked about True Blood
at all this season, mostly because I think the show is ridiculously fucking stupid. I really enjoyed the first season and thought it had the potential of being a fun, semi-x-rated supernatural show. Then came the second season
, which was an orgy of bad writing - quite literally. Remember? There were orgies? And heart eating! And a maenad and a meat tree and...anyways, you remember. This is when I realized that True Blood is actually a really, really bad show.However, that doesn't take away the fun of watching it. I will say that season four has been the most enjoyable season since the first - for the most part. We finally got the Sookie/Eric payoff, although he had to turn into an amnesiac scawed widdle boy to get there, which kind of ruined the fun. But at least Bill wasn't so annoying this time around. Bill as a character is much better without Sookie. Then again, there was that weird werepanther gang bang and the possessed baby doll thing, so...it's not like this season has been good.
In the season's penultimate episode last night, some interesting developments were made - stupidly. Why does this show insist on being so effing stupid looking all the time? Is it budget cuts? I mean, my god. Whatever. Here are the top five stupid-ass things that happened.
1. Marnie has actually gone batshit crazy because she feels like an outcast and wants to have the power for a change. Okay, but...she's doing this by going after the vampires, who are the show's most prominently oppressed minority group? Sure, that makes sense. Here she is, randomly stabbing innocent people all of a sudden, because of what? Because she is drunk on power? She really wanted to be prom queen? Yes, at first it was not Marnie who did any of this but Antonia, a witch of the past who has possessed her. But even Antonia thinks the bitch is nuts and wants out at this point. Marnie has to bind them together to get the job done.
2. Eric and Bill want to commit suicide to save Sookie. Not to win the war, oh no. To save Sookie. Now, okay, yes, I get it. She is light and love and they are both extraordinarily pussy-whipped. But really? A suicide pact that they are willing to carry out even before Marnie lets Sookie go? As Pam says, "True death to save Bo Peep? I don't fucking think so." Not to mention the horrible CGI wobbly force field and/or fire we were forced to endure throughout most of the episode. She's trapped, they are trapped, everyone is trapped behind stupid wobbly fake looking crap and so, I guess we should kill ourselves to make it better! Yep, sure thing.
3. Speaking of pussies...Sam can't carry through on killing Marcus, even though he killed the only real family Sam had. Sam is one of those characters who changes from season to season, thanks to shoddy writing. Here, he is back to being Noble Sam who Doesn't Do Bad Things, so Alcide has to do the job for him. In case you're wondering, this is because Alcide is Consistently Hot (truth!) and also A Real Man All The Time, but dude. Lame payoff for Sam after all that.
4. Andy gets faerie-banged (that's the official term for when a faerie bangs you, just so you know) by Maurella, who I suppose is setting up our wretched Faeries Are Bad To People storyline for next season. So anyway, she seduces Andy for no apparent reason and they have a nice little ET-phone-home glowing finger moment. It's...really fucking stupid looking, like in Avatar
when the Na'vi did it by like, touching their hair together or something? Who knows. Dumb!
5. Poor Jesus and his creepy demon mask thingy...good lord. I will admit that the Lafayette and Jesus Got The Magic Touch storyline really improved this season, but why the creepy demon mask thingy? Why, show? It just makes all of it look hokey and silly and...we get it. He goes into a dark, deep place to perform this kind of magic. There's metaphor and then there's this thing, which looks like the villain from Flash Gordon
had a baby with the Lucha Libre
. Ugh.
So, what will happen next week? Hopefully less bad CGI fire and more of Lafayette being awesome, because Nelsan Ellis is actually a damn good actor when he wants to be - and he's particularly shined this season, much like Maurella's glowing faerie sex finger of doom.