has finally made me feel a little - just a little - bit sorry for Teresa Giudice. I know she's all "stand by her man," and that's her own idiotic choice, but there was something so sad about last night's episode. Maybe it's the way Joe Giudice speaks to her, both drunk and sober. "Shut up," "You're so annoying," "Leave me alone." Those are like, his favorite things to say to his wife - and often his daughters as well. Maybe it's the way she sat alone at her book signing
only to have a couple silly teenagers show up. It was mostly empty. When her family did arrive, it was awkward. The strain and hurt on everyone's faces was just...evident. I could see it, even through the mound of purple shimmering eyeshadow that matched Teresa's purple fur coat and heels.
Then there was the stunned, saddened look on her face when she realized that Joe is clearly still harassing her brother. Now, don't get me wrong. Teresa, Melissa and Joe Gorga are all shit talkers. But it's obvious that Teresa wasn't aware of the series of nasty texts Joe had been sending her bro. Joe Gorga is so offended and upset by these texts, he can barely hug Teresa, even after she writes a heartfelt message in his book. He buys ten copies, which only makes me more depressed for her. She leaves the bookstore in tears.
When she gets home, it's a full house. Like, there's a big effing dinner party going on. And as the night goes on, the drunker and meaner Joe becomes. And why, can I ask, was he home with all their friends getting wasted while Teresa was out alone, in the snow, at her book signing? What the actual fuck is that? Nice support, dickwads. So yeah, he's wasted. So wasted that he tries to do some gymnastics and charmingly chips a tooth. I knew a guy once who got so drunk, he ended up chipping his tooth. We were 17 years old. I'm just saying.
We learn wonderful tidbits, like how Joe keeps Joe Gorga in his phone as "Fag," (which of course, is nothing against faggots, just so you know, duh, obviously, it's not about faggots, it's about Joe, he is totally fine with faggots) and how he threatened to break his jaw if he showed up to Teresa's book signing. See, Drunk Joe thinks that Gorga is just showing support now because they're on television. True? Maybe. But Giudice is the only one coming off like an asshole here. He's the only one talking down to his wife, tossing around insults, making violent threats and refusing to even pretend to get along for the sake of the children. He's the one making Teresa's friends share uncomfortable, concerned looks across the table as he rants and raves. He's the one who continuously makes his daughter Gia cry. So, I dunno. Maybe, just putting it out there, Joe Giudice is a huge sack of shit. An insecure, whining, big old baby who should probably be in jail, but he's on my television instead. Maybe.
This episode depressed me. And that's just not acceptable. I do not watch brain rotting reality television to feel empathy, good lord. So I'm not going to think about Teresa's sad, lonely existence, where all her friends prefer the company of her estranged family. Where she goes from bookstore to bookstore to try and earn enough cash to buy a new dining room table, since the government seized their last one. Where she is on a reality television show that is clearly ruining her marriage and her family relationships, but she's too bankrupt to quit. Nope. I'm going to play a drinking game, where every time I see someone wearing a fugly-ass fur coat, I do a shot. That sounds much better. But since this is Jersey, I may get quite drunk...so please don't bring any gymnastic mats to my viewing party. I have nice teeth.
