It's birds! Tim Gunn, the ever-present Collier Strong of L'Oreal and a whole bunch of birds are waiting for them in the workroom. Awesome. These birds will be the inspiration for their next design - and will also be combined with the limited edition 2011 L'Oreal color line, "Colors Take Flight," which is naturally inspired by the world of birds. The winner gets a L'Oreal advertorial in Marie Claire magazine, duh. While I usually hate product pushing challenges, I have to say this is pretty cool. There's an owl, a cockatoo, a raven and an Amazon parrot, each of which is paired with an appropriate color palette. They're really pretty and I kind of want to buy all of them? Damn you, convincing product placement! Tim adds that the winner will also get $20,000, making everyone flip out in excitement...
...which immediately fades with the news that they're working in teams. Will these horrible team challenges never end??? Our teams are: Laura and Anya (raven), Josh and Bert (Amazon parrot) and Viktor and Kimberly (cockatoo). No love for the owl. Everyone seems okay with their pairing, even Josh and Bert who have made peace and "love each other" now. Aww. But wait, don't get all lovey dovey, yet! This challenge is head to head, meaning that each pair is competing against each other. One of each will be in the top and the bottom three. Yikes. Ruthless move, Project Runway! Josh immediately informs us that he consistently brings a "high fashion eye" that Bert is incapable of, which I guess was demonstrated by his hideous horror show of an outfit last week. After some quality sketching time with their birds, the designers are off to Mood to shop - but not before we see that the cockatoo has been taught to say, "Make it work!" Can we replace Josh with the cockatoo? No? Damn.
At Mood, Bert looks like he's gathering fabric for his Mardis Gras drag costume. Laura tells us that she's making pants and a tailored organza top. She says she knows they'll be expecting like, a gown covered in feathers but she's not about to do that. Hilarious cut to Josh buying huge, garish feathers. Well done, editing department. Also doing a feathered look is Viktor, but he is shredding organza by hand to create a feathered appearance because, ya know, he's not a wildly tacky idiot.
Everyone gets to work on their garments and toward the end of the first day, Tim reappears to tell them....yeah, you guessed it. They have to make a second look. Is this like, Project Runway, Death Match or what? Sheesh. For a split second, I think he's going to say that the second look is for the bird, and I get really excited, but no. It's just for the stupid model. God, a birdie costume would have been phenomenal. Sigh. So, the designers are all freaking out. Anya is like, "I cannot believe we have to start over from where we were ten hours ago," and honestly, this is pretty mean. She decides to do her second look in a more structured, solid design. Her first look is in this gorgeous textured fabric, by the way, which she found in the curtains section because Anya is awesomely creative.
Not to beat a dead horse, but: Josh is still tacky. God. His first look is like this bright green thing that's all floofy and horrible. It looks like those Tinkerbell outfits they sell at The Disney Store for six year old girls. The next day they are still working. Y'all, this episode is kind of boring, I have to be honest. At one point, there is a cockroach in the workroom and Kimberly freaks the fuck out, like standing on the table and screaming. That's the most exciting part of the episode so far. Unfortunately, it might have also been the highlight of Kimberly's day. She's struggling big time with her unfamiliar fabric choices and is lacking a solid inspiration. She also seems to be majorly intimidated by Viktor, which is understandable. Then, because it is just one of those days for the poor girl, she sews through her finger. Oh ouch. So, she's bleeding and crying and runs into the bathroom to have a total meltdown. Poor thing. We learn that she lost her mom at seventeen and then more recently has lost her step father and brother. Good lord. I really hope she comes out of this on top, because it's kind of brutal.
Meanwhile, Josh grows at least a couple brain cells and decides to scrap his first dress altogether because "it's heinous." Well, yes it is. It really is. And then my whole world goes upside down, because I start disliking Anya and side with Josh. I KNOW! After ditching his design, he asks Anya for a little fabric. You might remember last week, when Anya lost her money and won the challenge from loaned fabric, right? Right. Well now she's all, "sorry buddy this is a competition!" and shit which is really crappy since everyone was so nice to her. "Oh Anya, don't make me start hating you now. I've been rooting for you for weeks!" I plead to the television, but bitch ain't listening. As she pins her second look to the mannequin, it occurs to her that 1) she has no idea how to sew it, and 2) she didn't actually construct a way for the model to get in or out of the garment. Um. Now, I know that she's just learned to sew four months ago and up until this point I've found that to be extremely impressive. But as the remaining designers work their asses off around her and she sort of ditzily sews her models into her garments? It makes me sort of understand their frustration. They've been sewing all their lives and the judges don't see the workroom, where they spend more time actually constructing a wearable garment. Are her ideas more creative? Sure. But how is she supposed to actually sell clothes one day if she doesn't know how to get people in or out of them?
Tim approaches Josh for his critique and sees the new turquoise cut out hoop skirt that will replace his heinous Tinkerbell tutu from before. It's an improvement, y'all. I know it doesn't sound like one, but it is. Tim looks around and asks him, "Qu'est que c'est?" Josh stares up at him blankly. "What's a que-kessett?" he repeats cluelessly and Tim laughs and says yes, "What is it?" and Oh! Har har! Josh doesn't know French! What a simple boy! Tim is tickled! Josh's cultural ignorance is so charming! He should invite Josh up to his chateau in the South of France and they can grab Andre and hit a Red Lobster while they're there and...I just made this weird, didn't I? Oh well. Maybe next time. I won't tell Santino, don't worry. Quick, someone write something about it happening after the show. If it's on the Internet, it's TRUE. There can be no assertions to the contrary!
But um. Yeah. I'm totally normal over here. See, the hoop skirt. Tim doesn't love it, but he sees it. Tim says that everyone in that room has the potential to win that $20,000. The models arrive and I can't help but feel for the poor neglected owl. Yes, the cockatoo and the parrot and the raven are all stunning, but the owl is interesting to me. And the colors are the ones I'd be more likely to choose for myself. Maybe I'll just have to make myself a damn owl outfit on my own! (Spoiler: it will look horrible. I will probably get stuck inside of it and have to call my mom for help. It will be my last attempt at sewing, probably ever. It will make a mockery of clothing, owls, and human kind. It will be my secret shame and I will tell no one.) You know what's awesome? Buying clothes. I love that, how they're already made for you? Yeah. Word. Shopping! Fuck yeah!
Runway time! Tim's given them the good (?) news that they only have to send their favorite of the two garments down the runway. So, what, you just make them construct two for like, shits and giggles? Because that's pretty mean. The designers are relieved, though, and the runway show begins. Anya's raven look is pretty cool, except I know the model cannot get out of it. Laura is given props for being original, but it looks a little costume-y. Anya scores higher between the two. Bert is criticized for his use of gray, while Josh is applauded at how simply draped his orange dress is - despite the prom corsage part, which is tacky as hell. Joshua scores higher than Bert, due to rampant self-editing. Overall, Kimberly gets great reactions (yay!) although there are bits to her styling that they don't like. Viktor's look is a bit too literal and Kim comes out on top (double yay!).
In deliberations, it seems like Bert, Laura and Viktor are all boring and too literal. They are very impressed by Kimberly and Anya - although Michael Kors points out that he likes Josh's a lot because "he's very fond of orange," which is hilarious. You rock that tanorexia, Korsy-pie. Ultimately, the winner is chosen to be Anya, who wins not only the Marie Claire advertorial but $20,000. Josh has a wee hissy fit. Usually I would roll my eyes, but he points out that her model had to be cut out of the winning garment, while each of the other pieces have clear fasteners. I get it: it is kind of unfair. It's an interesting quandary. What matters more: ingenuity or skill? If you lack one almost completely, can you win? Is it fair? It's something to think about. And in the meantime, Bert is sent home. Poor Bert, we just grew to like ye. Rock on, brother.
