So, I'm gonna put it out there: Teresa Giudice has gone from just being a pretty annoying brat to becoming the definite villain of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don't think she knew that she'd lose all her friends and fans when her family joined that cast, but man, she's done for. Sunday's episode was really only the icing on the cake. I think the recent and very public fighting from a usually calm Jacqueline Laurita is proof enough that Teresa is persona non grata amongst the NJ crew.I've already discussed the news that Teresa set sister-in-law Melissa Gorga up last week while taping season four in an effort to reveal her "stripper past." I'm still not one hundred percent it was Teresa's doing, but I'm definitely leaning toward that opinion. Since then, there's been an all out battle, which is mostly a Twitter vomit of rage from Jacqueline herself. You can read all of it over at her Twitter account @JacLaurita, but as is standard with these women, it's long and convoluted and difficult to decipher in snippets of 140 characters with only a weak grasp on the English language to begin with. But let's try.
According to the Huffington Post, after this alleged set up, Laurita took to Twitter to bash the shit out of the entire situation. This is true. But then the Huffington Post goes on, saying that Teresa called Jacqueline directly to respond to it and they fought on the phone. "Jacqueline’s parting shot after she hung up the phone was to text Teresa a photo of [her husband] Joe and [a] mystery lady at dinner and said she was going to leak it to the press to hurt Teresa." This information, from "an insider" seems messy at best, but Jacqueline has since Tweeted a looooong ass series of Twitpics of their text battle. It only sort of makes sense to me. But here's some interesting responses from the gals.
Andy Cohen: Are you friends with Teresa?
Caroline Manzo: Hell to the fuck no.
To add to the craziness, Jacqueline has since posted a very long Twitpic (this chick needs to get a blog, seriously) where she explains everything some more. Any by "explains" I mean "rambles in anger."
Make of that what you will. Because this is all happening in real time and last night's episode was filmed last winter, it's kind of like seeing Teresa's life fall apart in reverse. It's odd. There are all these strange moments in Punta Cana where they "make up" and "really enjoy their time together," but it all seems so phony to me. Melissa and Teresa will never stop competing and it seems like Teresa will never stop losing the battle. No one takes her seriously. Chris and Albie Manzo, plus my favorite guy ever Greggy Bennett, spend a whole lot of time setting Teresa up to look stupid. It's like in high school, where the class dork doesn't realize the Prom invite from the head cheerleader is a joke. And he shows up with a corsage, but she's already left in her limo with the captain of the football team. Teresa is a joke to them. I don't blame them, as she's completely useless as a person, but you can see it. She's lost her allies. She has nothing.
More importantly to everyone, I'm sure, is that last night's episode also included Melissa Gorga's live debut of her single "On Display" at Chris and Albie's black water lauch party. It seems like a whole lot of backtrack vocals and her basically gyrating on stage as she lip syncs, but she looks hot and she's on a publicity freight train right now, so she might as well ride it. Joe Gorga wanted a live tiger on stage, but it didn't happen. LAME. I think it's fairly ironic that this entire song is about how people are "waiting for [her] to fall" (Yeah, I know the words, shut up. Buy "On Display now on iTunes, bitches!) and it's really her success that's leading Teresa to fall. Oh, the bitter twist of fate! Side note: after thanking her daddy and baby Jesus and crossing herself six hundred times, I can't tell whether to not to take Melissa seriously. I'm going to go with the opinion that she's dead serious and doesn't realize she looks stupid. Incidentally, she's also dressed like a stripper, which I find hilarious. Her shirt is made of like, chains. Daddy Joe "the Poison" Gorga approves. Teresa snarks that the only thing "on display" is Melissa's cleavage. 
There's a fun game where certified Mean Girls Chris and Albie Manzo make Melissa and Teresa compete in a trivia contest to prove that they are both intellectual failures. Neither can name Joe Biden as our Vice President. I know, honeys. Current events are hard, especially with all that hairspray and eyeliner weighing your face down. It's rough. And it's not like Joe Biden does like, anything anyway, right? "On display, on display, on display! Each and every day every day every day!" You know how it be for a Housewife.
It's hard to be Teresa Giudice, especially. In previews for next week, her new cookbook Fabulicious hits shelves, and can I just say how much it pains me to type out that word? God, it's like I lose three braincells just doing it. But apparently comparisons to her cast mates and The Olive Garden are made, which is basically like comparing an Italian to Hitler, and Caroline's Italian bloodline is questioned. Teresa Giudice, folks: making friends and connections everywhere she goes!
Fuck, I cannot wait for this reunion.