Looking at her, you'd never guess. I'm shocked, too.
The news broke in a stream of convoluted tweets, tabloid stories and blog posts. Even though I'm pretty sure people have been saying, "Damn, that bitch looks like a stripper," since the Real Housewives of New Jersey premiere, I suppose this is news. From what I've read, allow me to give you the Cliff Notes version of what I am now calling Strippergate. Based on this report from Gawker and this more detailed (but also more bullshit-sounding) story from the Huffington Post, it seems like Melissa was once upon a time shaking her thang at a club called Lookers. You can click on that, but beware. One, it's not really safe for work and two, it assaults you with horrible thumpity-thump music, which is probably my biggest pet peeve ever. So yeah, Lookers, a club for classy bitches on display, on display, on display.
According to Melissa Gorga herself, they are currently in the process of filming the Real Housewives of New Jersey's fourth season and were out and about (at the Posche fashion show, naturally) and this is where it becomes fuzzy. The Huffington Post reports that Melissa was "ambushed" by her former boss at Lookers in an attempt to confront her stripper past on camera. Allegedly, she ran away from him and avoided an on-camera conversation. Here's where the he said/she said really gets going. Multiple reports say that this whole scene was orchestrated by Bravo in order to reveal her secret in dramatic scene. The Huffington Post's "source" (who could be Gia Giudice for all we know) said, "The producers made Teresa talk to [the manager of Lookers] to 'hear him out,' so his accusations would be aired on camera, but Teresa stopped him mid-story and told him to not talk about her family and left." However, Bravo reps deny any involvement.
The other, frankly more believable version of the story is that Teresa Giudice herself set this whole thing up. Considering that by mid-season three, Teresa has turned into a jealous, seething mess over Melissa stealing both her brother and friends away from her, I don't think it's too insane to say that she'd want to take her down. Further proof: Caroline Manzo has hinted on Watch What Happens Live that she's getting a little sick of Teresa's behavior and it's quite clear to anyone watching that everyone loves Joe and Melissa Gorga except Teresa and Joe Giudice. If you do a little Twitter stalking (what? I have a life, shut up) you'll see that most of the cast follows each other, save @Teresa_Giudice. Interesting. And as we all know, following someone on Twitter is serious business. It's like they're all at the cool kids lunch table and Teresa is sitting in the bathroom stall, crying.
But wait, it gets deeper! Earlier this week, I read that Jacqueline Laurita is considering leaving the show because she's tired of all the games and bullshit and nasty people. I didn't know it at the time, but this is all linked. If you read back through her Twitter of that night, it starts to all make sense.
- Someone( not me) got set up tonight. There are some sneaky people trying to make someone look bad & then play innocent on camera. Sad.
- 2b honest.I'm tired of the BS &shitty low life people.I didn't know this was what I signed up 4.I have 2rise above&move on.
- I can't be part of the Charade anymore.It's unsettling. It's disturbing & against what I stand for. I'm a REAL housewife
- I love the blame shifting when someone is caught in lies. Unbelievable.
- There is no real love there. Things aren't always what they seem. SOME people live a different life OFF camera then they do on. ( ahem)
- You'll all see through the bullshit if you look closely enough. I think you all are pretty smart
- Ok,I'm pulling back.I'm not going there.I was impulsive.It's behind & beneath me.Too Unimportant.My life is good now.
- I'd like to only focus on positive things now please.I threw the trash out.I'm cleaning now and reorganizing.Starting fresh and new.
Melissa also states that she's being set up. From her blog: "The reason I am so adamant about clearing this up is because people making false accusations solely to hurt me and my family. Someone desperately wants to knock me down and prove that I have something to hide, but then tries to cover it up by putting the blame on production." Hmm. Maybe...Teresa? You'll notice that there's not one thing from Teresa in the press about this, by the way. I'm just saying.
Now, it's a fact that I'm Team Melissa all the way. She may look like a stripper, but Teresa looks busted and she's also pretty much a vile person. So is her repulsive husband, not to mention he's a first rate crook. Joe Gorga is unfortunately also repulsive, but he's occasionally funny about it, so I will let it slide. Melissa claims she worked at a "bikini bar" and wore "a tank top and shorts" while she was in college. But even if she was a stripper...who cares? We know her father died when she was young and she had to support herself. She's hot. If she had to shake the bubbies to get things done, so what? Maybe I have too open of a mind because I live in downtown Miami, where every third woman is a stripper (a Census fact!) but I don't think so. I think someone's looking a little green and it's this table flipping troll right here:
Now, it's a fact that I'm Team Melissa all the way. She may look like a stripper, but Teresa looks busted and she's also pretty much a vile person. So is her repulsive husband, not to mention he's a first rate crook. Joe Gorga is unfortunately also repulsive, but he's occasionally funny about it, so I will let it slide. Melissa claims she worked at a "bikini bar" and wore "a tank top and shorts" while she was in college. But even if she was a stripper...who cares? We know her father died when she was young and she had to support herself. She's hot. If she had to shake the bubbies to get things done, so what? Maybe I have too open of a mind because I live in downtown Miami, where every third woman is a stripper (a Census fact!) but I don't think so. I think someone's looking a little green and it's this table flipping troll right here: