, I am starting to feel bad for Melissa Gorga. Now, you think that after spending an atrocious, vomitous, purely repulsive $50k on a “birthday party for Jesus” that Jesus would like, have her back. But apparently, baby Jesus was busy that night, because it seems like everyone and their horrible cousin was out to ruin the Gorga holiday extravaganza.
First, there’s cousin Kathy, who could not be more irrelevant if she tried. Let’s get that out of the way, right? No one could be less important than Kathy. I probably deserve as much air time on the Real Housewives of New Jersey as Kathy. My life is equally interesting because I, in fact, have also cooked food on occasion. I also sometimes go to buy jeans and talk to people in my family. Literally, those are the things she’s done this season. It’s so embarrassing. Despite the fact that the Manzo family keeps laughing in her face, Kathy and her weird be-speckled husband just keep showing up to things. What, you say? Showing up to her cousin’s holiday party isn’t desperate? Okay, no, it is not. But confronting Teresa all, “Oh, I just hope we can get along blah blah blah,” in a tone where it’s obvious that she isn’t even trying to believe it….well, it’s just sad. Your ploys for the camera are sad, Kathy. It’s hard for me to say, but Bravo (ha, see what I did there?) to Teresa for calling her on it. See, Kathy, you’re so annoying that you made me give Teresa accolades. Nice job.Then we have some dude…I don’t know who it was. I think somehow he is related to someone, and is possibly named Joe? It’s very hard to tell on this show. I’m just going to go with that, based on odds. Anyway, he says that Beefy McGiudice owes him money. Well, shit. I’m pretty willing to bet that Joe owes almost everyone at that party money. At least two of the hired carolers and possibly the ice sculpture as well. Let’s get real. But he had to do it at Melissa’s baby Jesus birthday party? That’s just tacky. Get your 2.5 minutes of fame somewhere else. Not on Jesus’s time, buddy.