The Project Runway Is Full Of (No) Surprises (At All)

First of all, I want to apologize for the tardiness of this Project Runway recap. I'd like to say I was too busy doing Very Important Things and Making A Difference and Moving and Shaking, but...honestly, I've just been really tired? I know it's lame. Who's too tired for television? Well I am, so suck it. I didn't really think anyone would notice, but even my therapist was all, "Where's your Project Runway recap?" and stuff. Shout out: what's up, doc? Sorry about the crazy! But aaanyway, it's Fashion Week! Or, uh, it was. By now you've probably heard who the big winner is. I can't say it's really a surprise. In fact, it's probably the least surprising thing that's happened this season.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Anya. Kimberly, Josh and Viktor have all been selected to compete for the final prize! Anya is thrilled, but also pretty bummed out since her line preview basically blew. She actually says, "It's not the best that I've ever done," but I think that's a gross understatement. If you didn't know, Josh isn't thrilled that Anya made it. Just in case you didn't know. He'll tell you all about it, if you want. Tim Gunn will also tell it like it is: he flat out says that he disagreed with the judges on Viktor, Josh and Kimberly's critiques. But not Anya. He thought her stuff sucked, too. He brings good news, though! Each designer will get an extra $500 and a trip to Mood for anything they want or need. Damn, that's pretty nice. Usually they're like, "Oh, make a thirteenth look!" and now they're all, "You need shit? We'll buy it!"


After their shopping adventure, the designers have 12 hours to work. Anya has basically bought all new fabrics, mostly some gorgeous black and white prints. Kimberly is trying to fix that horrid bubble skirt and it's not working. Josh is making some more stuff that is neon green, because he is Josh. Josh is also kind of freaking out. He just keeps making more pieces, but he's not actually finished with his collection. Viktor pretends to be worried, but he's not. Then Josh goes right into the inevitable breakdown and has the audacity to cry on Anya's shoulders. This is clearly just him being stressed out and scared and overtired, but really? You're crying to Anya, who you have trashed the entire time? To her credit, she is very comforting and sweet and it looks like maybe they are even friends for five minutes.


The next day, Josh is feeling rejuvenated. Kimberly is still trying to revise the bubble skirt. Scrap the bubble skirt, Kimberly! It is terrible! Meanwhile, Anya seems to be pretty resigned. Oh honey, don't worry. Spoiler: you don't lose. Viktor, per the judges' critique, is editing his collection and Josh just keeps adding neon green. Tim observes that all the additions to Josh's collection have left it very different from the three pieces he showed - it's much less upscale and much more "downtown," which I think is Tim Gunn speak for "tacky." After their model fittings, Anya is feeling much better, although she is still cutting and sewing down to the last minutes of the day. Her line is very Caribbean now, with more of what you would expect from Anya: lots of long, flowy maxi dresses with beach prints. It's pretty, but not so different from what I can buy down on Ocean Drive.


Bright and early - well, actually dark and early the next morning, the designers are on their way to Lincoln Center and lookin' mighty fine. There's a great shot of Josh putting on his mascara, by the way, so kudos to the editing department for that one. Backstage, it's mayhem. Kimberly is on first, but she loses her sewing kit. Anya generously offers her anything she can from her own kit, despite the fact that she's literally sewing models into garments. What else is new? And then it's runway time! I have to say, despite all my previous reactions, Kimberly's line ain't so bad. It's actually very wearable, which I guess is something. I still hate her colors, but whatever. At least she sort of fixed the bubble skirt. Josh is up next and his mom is still dead. He's crying before he even hits the stage. Okay fine, it's sweet. His collection is pretty fun. I also have a problem with his colors as well, but it works with what he's doing. At the risk of sounding dorky, his line feels very hip to me. Even the ones that are tacky are still interesting.


Up next is Viktor. Now, I was spoiled before I watched the finale. However, upon seeing Viktor's runway show, I think I would have known that he would not win. It's still got that same impeccable Viktor quality about it, but it's kind of...boring? I don't know. Maybe just not interesting enough. Did he edit too much? I'm just not wowed like I want to be. Lastly, there is Anya. Her collection is very pretty, I will say that. Is it a winning collection? I'm not sure. Nothing this season is amazingly impressive (oh, I long for the days of Jay McCarroll, or even Christian Siriano!) but I don't know if hers is the most impressive.


Judging! The judges enjoyed Kimberly's line and praise her for listening to their comments. She's very much tuned into the urban woman. Additionally, they are fans of Josh's line and commend him for reigning himself in. His clothes are very well designed, but also well edited.  He's interesting without being too much. He tells a story. This I will agree with - of all the collections, Josh's has the clearest point of view. The judges are not as fond of Viktor's - they think his tailoring is "stellar," but they don't like his use of sheer fabric. Neither do I, to be honest. Heidi feels that some of it looked cheap. Anya's line is very well received. They all recognize that she doesn't have a lot of versatility in her looks - eight of ten have the same neckline. However, she's got a lot of movement in her designs and they love her use of prints. Okay, I have to admit that this annoys me. They keep complimenting her use of print, but isn't that just...picking nice fabric? I mean, I can go to Jo Ann's Fabrics and pick out a pretty pattern, too, but that doesn't mean I should win Project Runway. And also, most of her line is so reminiscent of Uli's from Season Three, isn't it? But she didn't win. How come six years later, this is innovative?

Meh. It's obvious at this point that Anya won, right? Anya won. In the end, it's between Anya and Josh. Josh's collection was, in their words, more well designed, well tailored and versatile than Anya's. But nope! Sorry, Josh! They like the unoriginal, weakly made, generic pretty things! I DON'T GET IT. Hilariously, Nina comments that Kimberly is not ready to be a Project Runway winner - she's good, but she's just not ready yet. I'll bet that killed her as she watched Anya-of-four-weeks-sewing take the prize. Anyway, despite being "one note," they love Anya's style and her brand and they trust that she can do it. I'm not so sure, but only time will tell. Congrats, Anya!

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