Oh, Rachel Zoe
. I know it sounds strange, since I think you are probably the most ridiculous person on Earth (it's you or Kanye West, I haven't decided) but I missed you. I really did. And now you're back! I die.
. I know it sounds strange, since I think you are probably the most ridiculous person on Earth (it's you or Kanye West, I haven't decided) but I missed you. I really did. And now you're back! I die.
The season begins and the Zoe is six months pregnant. I'm not really sure what to think about this, considering she still looks like she might not survive a strong wind. If this was airing in real time, I would actually be concerned for the baby. Where is it? She's got a six month old fetus in there and I wouldn't fit in her trousers. I'm a size four. Where is the fetus?!
Almost as alarming is Rodger's hair. It's gotten out of control this season, doing all sorts of flippy-floppy things that I'm sure he thinks is charming. What really bugs me, though, is his little silver peace sign necklace. Now, I'm sure it's some sort of custom made Bvlgari charm or something but - a peace sign necklace? Seriously? That's pretty 1996, Rodg. I don't know how Rachel allows it. Is that retro? I don't get fashion, man.
Anyways, Rachel is having a boy, which she admits she did not handle very well at first. Can you imagine? She sees the tiny blur of a penis on the sonogram screen and all those dreams of Marchesa onesie gowns and Louboutin booties shatter. But now she's "over it" because she's found some really cute boy clothes. As we can see.
So, basically, this episode is about how Rachel is pregnant, awards season is approaching, she's got all her usual high profile clients, she and Rodger are trying to buy a house and, oh yeah, she's about to launch her own fashion line. That's pretty major. Luckily, she's hired Mandana Dayani, whom she deems "the ultimate execu-bitch" to be Rachel when Rachel isn't there to be Rachel. Or something.
But the craziest news is that Brad Goreski
is no more. Okay no, he isn't dead, but he's Dead To Rachel, and that's what matters, right? Apparently, he told the Zoe he wanted to scale back, spend more time with his boyfriend and tiny dog (I have no idea what kind of dog he has, but I'm assuming it's tiny) and shit. But then he went out on his own as a stylist, showing up at all the events and trying to steal Rachel's clients. Bad Brad! Rachel tells us how this is not the first time she's been used, but "it's definitely the last time," which is exactly what she said at the beginning of last season when she fired Taylor Jacobson for stealing garments. The new lead stylist is a girl named Jordan, who we may or may not have already met, I don't care.
Rachel seriously wears about seven different huge fur coats in this episode. I don't know how she bears the weight of these coats. Like, honestly, how does she not topple over? Thank God she's about 72 pounds now that she's pregnant, or her entire frame might shatter.
is no more. Okay no, he isn't dead, but he's Dead To Rachel, and that's what matters, right? Apparently, he told the Zoe he wanted to scale back, spend more time with his boyfriend and tiny dog (I have no idea what kind of dog he has, but I'm assuming it's tiny) and shit. But then he went out on his own as a stylist, showing up at all the events and trying to steal Rachel's clients. Bad Brad! Rachel tells us how this is not the first time she's been used, but "it's definitely the last time," which is exactly what she said at the beginning of last season when she fired Taylor Jacobson for stealing garments. The new lead stylist is a girl named Jordan, who we may or may not have already met, I don't care.
Anyways, with the tragic loss of Brad, Rachel needs a new cute gay hipster to be her Poor Jeremiah is thrown right in, because they are prepping for this huge buyer/editor presentation. Rachel will be too pregnant to travel, and thus do a typical line launch during Fashion Week, so they've arranged an event where she will present her line to all the major buyers and fashion editors now. To say "Rachel is nervous" is like saying "those girls are sort of into Justin Bieber." She's totally fucking flipping out. But then she sees her whole line for the first time and her head bobbles and wobbles in excitement. And then the most articulate conversation ever to be recorded occurs:
Rachel: Omigod, look at the clothes.
Jeremiah: They look amazing.
Rachel: I see leopard and I see an amazing red jacket.
Rachel: *tries on a coat* Oh my god, this is amazing.
Rachel: *tries on another coat* This is amazing.
Jeremiah: It's amazing.
Rachel: It's amazing.
Jeremiah: Look, the product speaks for itself. Everything is...amazing.
Rachel: Are we biased? Or is it amazing?
Such big questions! Such a small vocabulary! But we will have to wait until next week to see if it's truly as "amazing" as they think when they hit New York. Amazing. (Sorry, couldn't resist)