You Know You’re Old When…

TeenNick, part of the Nickelodeon family of cable channels, has decided to make me feel really, really effing old by dedicating nightly blocks to 1990s programming. These blocks of old Nickelodeon series, entitled “The 90s Are All That,” will include many hits like All That (duh), Doug, Rugrats, and some of my personal favorites Salute Your Shorts and Clarissa Explains It All.

Exciting? Hell yeah. A little silly? Well, maybe not. There are 90s revivals happening all over the place. If you walk into Forever 21, your eyes are assaulted with neon, bodysuits, harem pants and cropped jackets.  It’s alarming. You go to a restaurant and the Stone Temple Pilots are playing. Because it’s ironic, see? Not to mention the fact that Nirvana’s Nevermind turns 20 this year, and Spin magazine’s tribute “Newermind” was just released.

I guess I have to face facts. My childhood is now retro. So, thanks Nickelodeon. Thanks a lot. Now I feel super ancient. I’m going to have to start kicking damned kids off my lawn. But first, I have to set my DVR.