Now that it’s out in the open, let’s talk about Ashley Herbert, this year’s Bachelorette. Last night she narrowed her “search for love” down to two men and I have to say, I couldn’t care less. This season is boring as hell, am I right?
First, there was The Bentley Thing, which I don’t even want to talk about, it’s so embarrassing. You know when your friend comes out of the bathroom at a party, and the back of her skirt is stuck in her underwear? And before you can tell her, everyone sees and someone takes out their phone, posting it all over Facebook? Yeah, that was The Bentley Thing. So sad.
Then there were…all the rest of them. Honestly, other than Bentley, most of this season’s guys have been pretty forgettable. I mean, let’s talk about Ryan. He was the guy all the other guys hated. Lord, did they hate Ryan. I tried, week after week, to discern why – I think it’s because he was too positive? Too enthusiastic? I don’t know. It was very strange. How dare you enjoy life! The nerve of that happy bastard Ryan.
But last night, Ryan wasn’t too happy. He came back, flying all the way to Fiji in a desperate attempt to become the next Bachelor win Ashley back. Then he got dumped…again. It was so embarrassing. I don’t know if I will ever forget the image of him crying, maniacally chanting “It will happen” to himself. Yikes.
So, now we’re down to JP and Ben, aka Constantine Ultra*. I am certain she will pick Ben, since JP seems to be more sincere and is also older. He’s in his thirties, for God’s sake. Practically a corpse. And then Ashley and Ben will ride off into the sunset, where their relationship will grace the cover of People
once for the engagement, and then again for its horrible demise.
once for the engagement, and then again for its horrible demise. * Constantine, of course, was Ben Lite.