Rigged and confused

Shannen Doherty was the first contestant voted off Dancing with the Stars on Tuesday night (March 30). Pamela Anderson also landed herself in the bottom two this week.

Apparently Kate Gosselin and Buzz Aldrin have really strong fan bases!
CHEATERS!


“I think that dancing isn’t really my thing,” Shannen lamented. “I’m an actor and it’s what I love to do. I did this for my dad, and I did exactly what I wanted. And I think it’s fate — my partner is hurt… I’m a bit sad but mainly for my partner [Mark Ballas] and my dad. I love you all.”

She tweeted to Mark, “I love you and I’m sorry.”

To her Charmed co-star Holly Marie Combs, she wrote, “I love you. Now if I can stop crying…”

Electro Shock

Listen To Christina’s New Single
It’s finally here! Christina Aguilera is proud to share her new single “Not Myself Tonight” from her forthcoming album Bionic.

Morals Schmorals

Jason-

I think I did not do a very good job of making my points in my last post. Most business leaders today prioritize short-term tangible benefit over long-term excellence...there are a variety of things that drive that. Most business leaders today don’t really get human capital practices so they stick to the other stuff...there are probably a variety fo things that drive that as well. The fact that many of these practices are long-term and challenging to actually measure (among other issues) become the justification for “leaders” to not fully invest.

Every single airline in this country knows what Southwest does to be successful and how it does it. Every single airline in this country continues to go a different way and continues to underperform Southwest. It is just much simpler to focus on being as profitable as possible today than it is to build an amazing organization.

But certainly you are right, there is more to the story.

You mention personal accountability and amen. Personal accountability should always be a part of the conversation, but it goes hand in hand with the organizations role in supporting that behavior. If we want employees to confront bad management then we have to make it safe to do so. This is a topic where it is common for organizations to have a big doing-saying gap. Almost every company out there says it wants people to speak up, it wants employees to tell the truth, and in almost every company the employees know that the truth is a bit more complicated. Organizations that truly want employees to be awake, alive and accountable can have it...that is our natural state as human beings. But most companies do no want that, as it requires a much different style of leadership.

You also mention the morality of work that truly matters and again amen...and give me a break. Maybe I am a bit extra cynical this morning, but if business and business leadership had a real sense of the “right” way, you and I would probably be unemployed, hungry and on the street. Any institution that exists solely for the purpose of profit, that privatizes profits and socializes costs is morally challenged from the start. Business has historically been forced to do the right things...against its will. The funny thing is that most of the right things that business has been forced to do have been beneficial to business in the long-term, and again I point back to my two original points. Business is not naturally oriented towards the long-term, that requires courageous, competent leadership and that my friend is a rare thing.

That is what I think.

-joe

Ricky's Closet

Ricky Martin decided against a People magazine cover, and instead chose to come out on his website. I know, you would probably clutch your pearls and crush them if this was 1999. This is what Ricky wrote. Bitch got deep:


A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And thisis something worth celebrating.

For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that's the stage. Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It's my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don't ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I'm at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I'm feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.

Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.

If someone asked me today, "Ricky, what are you afraid of?" I would answer "the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war...child slavery, terrorism...the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith." But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.

These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

Now if you'll excuse me, I better go check on my auntie. I'm sure those goose bumps exploded. Hand me a Swiffer Wet Jet.

UPDATE: Ricky also has a Spanish version on his website. The declaration of his gayness sounds so much hotter in Spanish: "Hoy ACEPTO MI HOMOSEXUALIDAD como un regalo que me da la vida. ¡Me siento bendecido de ser quien soy!" Now that shit gave me goose bumps (I won't say where).

Allowing Bad Behavior

Joe,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts regarding my big question related to why so many companies seem to be doing so many bad things yet reaping good rewards.

You make good points relative to the delayed impact of human capital practices like training and leadership and certainly it's difficult to find causal relationships between those practices and organizational outcomes. But, I don't think that's enough of an explanation for me. When we are pressed for an answer on this question, it can't be that our best response is that:

• It won't pay off for a long time (and you may not ever know that it does) and
• You probably can't measure it if or when it does.

That doesn't mean that these aren't important issues to be aware of, it just means that there has to be more to the story.

The more I think about this issue, there are a couple of dimensions to this question that maybe we aren't considering on the surface.

1. Personal accountability of the employee seems to have disappeared in this discussion. I think that as employees, like in many areas of our lives, we've been happy to hand over the responsibility for our happiness and satisfaction to someone else--in this case, our employer. One of the reasons that bad management persists, in my opinion, is because we lack courage to confront it. I know that this may be easier said than done, but at some point, we have to take responsibility for shaping how we want to be treated at work.
2. People increasingly expect to do work that matters, that has purpose. So, perhaps what we are talking about is not simply a business issue, but a moral issue. Clearly, there are multiple different ways to achieve productivity at work. But maybe there's an emerging moral responsibility on the part of organizations to create workplaces where people can both do work with purpose and that allow people to grow and flourish as individuals. So, maybe what we tend to discuss isn't necessarily the "best" way, but the "right" way.

What do you think?

Jason

The Sports Round Table Live

Listen Live on 1170AM or WWW.WDISAM.COM
Saturdays 8 - 11 AM

She's Back!

FIVE TIME GRAMMY AWARD WINNING RECORDING ARTIST CHRISTINA AGUILERA TO RELEASE NEW ALBUM "BIONIC" SUMMER 2010 FIRST SINGLE "NOT MYSELF TONIGHT" WILL PREMIERE ON CHRISTINAAGUILERA.COM AT 6PM EDT ON 3/30, IMPACTS RADIO ON 4/5 AND WILL BE MADE AVAILABLE ON iTUNES ON 4/13

LUV'S IT!

Sports Round Table Replay

Last week Moose Leonard was MIA, but
Steve Rando and myself keep the show
with Brian O'Toole and intern Charlotte
behind the glass. Listen in and be entertained!

Breaking Down Bad Behavior

Jason-

You raise an important question. Here is at least part of the answer, from my perspective…

Part of what makes the work that we do complex are some really key disconnects that are often interrelated and overlapping:

The Temporal Disconnect In Human Capital work there can be a great deal of time between cause and effect. If I don’t treat my employees very well, it may be a long time before that leads to anything noticeable and tangible (turnover, etc.). If I slash our training/development budget it may be a long time before the impact of that shows up in a noticeable and tangible way…although the monetary savings can be plugged into my financials almost immediately.

The Causal Disconnect There are certainly consultants and authors out there that would lead you to think otherwise, but it is largely impossible to measure and demonstrate in an exact way the monetary value of what we talk about. We can often show correlation, but correlation and causation are different things. When it comes to this work, business cases are largely theoretical in nature and the business leader that does not want to do this stuff or does not understand this stuff can find an easy way out. It is easier and safer to make decisions involving tangible, physical assets. Making real investments in human capital requires some actual courage and leadership because it cannot be captured in a formula or an equation.

There are other variables that contribute as well, but I think that these two dynamics play a big role. It is not unlike the fact that a lot of us smoke, drink too much, do not exercise regularly, do not get enough sleep and do not have a healthy, balanced diet. We all know the basics of being healthy, yet many of us make contrary decisions on a daily basis. We even spend billions of dollars on fad diets, magic pills, and cosmetic surgery even though we know that we simply need to stop smoking, eat a little bit less and a little bit better and exercise a little bit on a consistent basis.

I used to smoke even though I knew how bad it could be for me. I could enjoy a cigarette today (which was easier and simpler than quitting), while the potential cost was something that existed way out in the future. Most business leaders care about a very short window of time. Squeezing short-term value out of a system is much easier and safer than investing in long-term value…unfortunately it can doom the organization in the long-term. And this is part of why the corporate life span is still not terribly long.

I think that most business leaders know what they should do to create a thriving and vibrant organization, there are examples out there and we write a lot of articles about them. Unfortunately, many leaders continue to make contrary decisions on a daily basis because their priority is maximizing profit today.

-joe

xtina news

New Single Not My Self Tonight




More news to come soon!

Bad behavior, good results

Joe,

I recently went back and re-read The Talent Anarchist's Manifesto again as I do from time to time. I'm really proud of our work on the Manifesto and it resonates with me to my soul. I feel when I read it like I'm reading the immutable laws of business success.

But there's a question that lingers in the back of my mind that I just can't shake. So, I put this to you and anyone else who might have the answer.

How is it that there are so many companies who are doing so many things nearly opposite of what we describe in the Manifesto, and yet they seem to be very financially successful?

I'm a bit perplexed.

Jason

XTINA DAILY

Christina Aguilera’s website has been completely revamped and updated! The new look features the image shown above and a clock counting down to “BIG NEWS” in 2 days! I’m really hoping all the talk about her album being pushed back again were just rumors and that her new single, “Glam,” will debut very soon!!! Cross your fingers…

No More St. John's on St. Joseph's

Today is traditionally the Italian feast of St Joseph,
or San Giuseppe to people in the know, and it also
happens to be the day or the last day rather for
St' John's head basketball coach Norm Roberts as
the teams coach. It is worth noting that he did leave
the team better than he found it, yet he was never
able to get over the hump if you will, but I will
say this; because of him this team will see the
tournament again, too bad he couldn't be part
of it. I guess after six years though you really
can't blame the school for wanting to try something
else and see how that goes

Walking in hills

Heidi Montag and Kristin Cavallari filmed The Hills Wednesday in Beverly Hills.

Sports Round Table Replay

In case you missed the fun last Saturday, tune in
to hear as my time on the Sports Round Table
soon comes to a close.

Avoiding the disconnect...

Jason-

Nice post on HR finger pointing and good examples…though I have recently made a vow to avoid and / or ignore all conversations involving the phrase “seat at the table.”

…but other than that, its all good.

I wonder if this does not link back around to our conversations about social capital. I think that finger pointing happens a lot less when people (or teams or departments) are actually in relationship and view each other as partners or collaborators.

When we are disconnected from someone and something is not working out the way we would like it too, I think it is almost a natural reflex to assume that “they” are the problem.

Are there some things that the HR manager or emerging HR leader can do to reach out and develop those relationships in a proactive way? ...even if those non-HR folks are terribly interested in doing so?

-joe

The Oscar Curse

When Sandra Bullock thanked her bad-boy husband, Jesse James, as she accepted her best actress Oscar for The Blind Side, she may not have known that while she was away shooting the film, Jesse was carrying on a steamy affair with a tattoo model. While Jesse has had an 11-month affair, including five weeks of sex, with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, she believed he and Sandra were no longer together. “I would never have hooked up with him if I thought he was a married man,” Michelle tells In Touch in an exclusive interview. “He gave me the impression they were separated.” For weeks, while Sandra was in Atlanta shooting The Blind Side, Michelle had sex at least once a week with the Monster Garage star. Far from a one-night stand, his relationship with Michelle was intimate and highly charged. Michelle even says she called Jesse, who didn’t wear underwear or condoms, by a special pet name, Vanilla Gorilla, because he was so “well-endowed.”At least you still have Oscar!

The different side of Mac

Mackenzie Phillips debuted her new face in InTouch magazine and on "Good Morning America" this week.

She paid $50,000 for Restalyne, a facial filler for wrinkles and pock marks, laser skin rejuvenating treatments, hair extensions, Botox to paralyze the muscles that cause crow's feet and frown lines, and around 36 hours of dental work including root canals and porcelain veneers.

So what do you think? Before is on the left. After is on the right.

Worth every penny or a bad investment?

Mackenzie says she will continue to speak out about the decade long sexual abuse with her musician father, John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas fame.

And about her new look, she says she knows it's corny but now her outsides match her insides. And she's happy.

Good for her. She deserves it.

Hey HR, Less Finger Pointing

Joe,

We have both railed on this blog at time about why human resources isn't living up to it's potential to be a leader for business. One of the key problems, I think, is the type of questions HR is asking. I think that if HR pros would change the questions we ask, we could transform HR.

Example 1:

Question being asked:

• Why doesn't HR have a seat at the table at my company?

Questions you should be asking:

• What can I do to earn a seat at the table?
• What am I doing that is keeping me from the table?
• What relationships do I lack that might be critical to being viewed as an executive leader?

Example 2:

Question being asked:

• Why won't managers follow the rules?

Questions you should be asking:

• What about these rules might be difficult for managers?
• How can we make it easier for the manager to comply?
• What reasons might our managers have for not following these rules?
• What are we doing in HR that might make it harder for managers to follow these rules?

I'm sure you see a trend. HR needs to spend much less time worrying about why others do what they do and focus instead on their own role and accountabilities. HR needs to start thinking about what they can do rather than pointing fingers at everyone else. By simply changing the questions being asked, we can change our whole approach.

Jason

Jason Seiden Named Honorary Talent Anarchist

Joe,

I know that it was with great admiration and respect you nominated Jason Seiden as an honorary Talent Anarchist. Clearly, this is a designation that we take very seriously since we have not until now even considered bestowing that designation on anyone. However, having read your nomination and considering what I know about Jason, I concur with your nomination.

On behalf of Talent Anarchy, in recognition of his excellent work in promoting disorder and exciting revolt to achieve the unleashing of talent, I'd like to name Jason Seiden as honorary Talent Anarchist. For those not initiated into his work, I would simply offer of his blog and the fact that he has written these two books, How to Self-Destruct and Super Staying Power as evidence that he exhibits true Talent Anarchist characteristics.

And, since he's now within the family, should he choose to accept this designation, I will begin our new relationship by disagreeing a little bit with the argument put forth in his blog post regarding Gen X that you mentioned in your nomination. I agree with the premise of the post and even the recommendations, but I felt as though Jason was suggesting that Gen X'ers don't make friends with anyone at work, and we know that not to be true. We, in Gen X, began a long tradition of tribalism when we were at home by ourselves after school in our early years. This has translated to work and we should embrace it. Even today, we are welcoming Jason in our own Talent Anarchy tribe as a leader. What I think is more correct to say about Gen X is that we don't humor fools well and we don't generally see the point in making friends with people we don't respect. To me, that's the real challenge for Gen X. Can we put aside our skepticism to find common ground so that we can form the relationships outside of our tribe that we need to be successful?

Congratulations to Jason Seiden, honorary Talent Anarchist!

Jason

Epic GAGA

It’s finally here! Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” video featuring Beyonce… Her best video to date! (Though I hope they release a version without all the dialogue in the middle.)

Stupid Shit

This Valley girl has gotten herself into some "stupid s--t."

Natalie Mejia, of the CW-minted power pop trio Girlicious, was arrested Tuesday night in Glendale, Calif., on cocaine charges following a routine traffic stop.

According to Glendale police, the 21-year-old Mejia was riding shotgun in a 1998 Ford Mustang driven by 28-year-old Peter Asencio when police pulled him over for speeding. Officers ran his name through the computer and learned his license was suspended, then searched the vehicle and discovered a dozen baggies of cocaine in Mejia's Gucci purse.

Can you say coke-a-licious?

The duo was booked on a count of suspicion of possessing cocaine for sale or distribution. After logging a night in jail, Mejia was released on $30,000 bail and is due to be arraigned today.

A preliminary hearing has been set for April 15.

Police say that the singer and her companion had just eaten at a local restaurant and were rushing to the airport to catch a flight when they were tagged.

Girlicious was manufactured on the 2008 CW reality series Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, created by Robin Antrin, the mastermind behind the Pussycat Dolls. The group, which also includes members Nichole Cordova and Chrystina Sayers, released its self-titled debut album in Canada, but not the U.S., and had one minor hit, "Like Me."

Let's hope Mejia can manufacture a good defense.

The lost corey

Hollywood’s “Lost Boys” star Corey Haim, a former teenthrob whose career was derailed by drug abuse, died in Los Angeles yesterday of an apparent overdose. He was 38.

The Canadian-born actor was pronounced dead at the Providence St. Joseph Medical Center in Burbank. There was no sign of foul play.

“As he got out of bed, he felt a little weak and went down to the floor on his knees,” Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter said. His mother called paramedics.

“It was an apparent overdose,” said Los Angeles Police Department /b> spokesman Frank Albarren.

No illegal drugs were found at the apartment, but authorities said they discovered four bottles of prescription pills.

A close friend of the actor told RadarOnline.com that Haim had been abusing prescription drugs in his final days.

“I’m not surprised that this has happened,” said the friend, who wanted to remain anonymous. “Corey got really upset that his mom was being treated for breast cancer and that she had lost her hair because of chemotherapy. She is all he really had in the world . . . he got pretty depressed about the situation.”

Fellow “Lost Boys” star Corey Feldman, who later collaborated with Haim on reality television show “The Two Coreys,” said he wept when he heard the news.

“My eyes weren’t even open all the way when the tears started streaming down my face,” he wrote. “We must all take this as a lesson in how we treat the people we share this world with while they are still here to make a difference.”

Other stars took to Twitter to mourn Haim’s death.

“Just woke up to the sad, sad news that Corey Haim passed away. RIP sweet boy,” Tweeted Alyssa Milano, who once dated the teenage star. “My thoughts go out to Corey’s family and friends today.

“So sad,” Christina Applegate wrote on Twitter.

Haim acknowledged his struggle with drug abuse to a British tabloid in 2004.

Sports Roundtable Replay

Last week I was away but managed to call in
to the show during the third hour to discuss
a little NFL Free Agency. The entire show
minus commercials is ready for you to
download right here. Enjoy !

Another round in the fairness fight…

Jason-

Since there seems to be so much that we disagree on related to fairness, allow me to reply to your last post:

I do not think that we should let the organization be “run by employee perception,” I simply think that we need to be a bit more serious about making sure that the employee perception is a) sought out, b) understood, and c) sincerely considered as we make decisions. It can be very easy for us to sit in a room full of HR and OD people and determine what other people need or what other people need to do…but I think that this is a faulty practice. I would even suggest that this is a large contributor to why most organizational change initiatives do not succeed.

Anytime we are in favor of anything other than transparency, I have to wonder why. I know that it is easier that way. I know that there is research showing that pay transparency can contribute to negative outcomes…and the same thing can be said about an issue that I do a lot of work with, diversity. Increasing the diversity or the difference in a workplace can lead to increased conflict, increased turnover, and decreased productivity. But those outcomes are not about difference, they are about the organizational culture and about individual skills and behaviors. Pay transparency can certainly lead to some issues if leaders are not good at setting expectations and consistently communicating feedback on behavior. The problems are not about transparency, but rather they are about a lack of capacity and skill for an open and honest culture.

I also do not think this is as simple as saying that the organizations that do not do it right will find themselves out of business…most companies find themselves out of business eventually for one reason or another. The organizational lifespan is not terribly long and there are a lot of factors that contribute to this. I think that we actually need to consider some new standards for evaluating organizational performance. Profit (which is also not a good predictor of longevity) is often aggressively pursued in the short term at significant long term cost. Fairness is probably a good example of this.

Personally, I am not that interested in what employees are entitled to or what organizations are entitled to. I am interested in what people and organizations are capable of. That requires that the organization and the employer be open, honest and courageous. I don’t really think we can have real fairness (or perceived fairness) without this.
-joe
Fairness, part 1
Fairness, part 2
Fairness, part 3

Every Once In A While.........

A player does the right thing and along the
way leads by example without ever even
trying to do so. You may have never heard
of Scott Fujita, but he's not your stereo typical
Asian American, and he's more than just a
former linebacker on the NFL Champion Saints!

2010 Update

I have been trying to dictate my 2010 update since Dec 2009, but I haven’t been able to focus. For my 2009 update I was still bipolar enough for a manic episode to provide for a zealous writing opportunity about previous years experiences.  Three months have passed waiting for some special inspiration for a frame to review 2009 and introduce 2010’s goals. So I am going to freely summarize just what all has happened since my last update and see what I conclude. I began 2009 with my new holistic philosophy: Surviving The Disease requires healing The Mind, The Body and The Spirit. With this new mantra I had found a sense of contentment despite not necessarily solving all my problems. I had wasted too much energy in past few years in anxiety over the effects of my illness on every aspect of my life which was only contributing to the severity of illness.

I was still under the financial strain of managing without child support on the mere $1050 in Social Security Disability benefits, but somehow the lights stayed on and my mortgage was paid. I was living from month to month in finances, but my new philosophy was to live day by day. I had made up my mind to only deal with the here and now.  I paid what I could and bought only what I absolutely needed. Soon you realize how much you thought was really needed isn’t a necessity after all. I neither worried nor made plans about any future events for which I currently had no control over.  I began to only cross bridges as I got to them.  Although I continued to suffer from severe neurological deficits, they were no longer escalating.  Improvement had come from acceptance and compensation for them. Most importantly with more information about APS and NPSLE, I was not feeling so out of control and crazy. This mental chaos was no longer personal. I could objectively recognize it as the symptoms of frontal lobe damage.  The results of neuropsych testing had given me specific deficits to target. Superior IQ results gave me confidence that notwithstanding my inability to communicate the way I used to I was still the same intelligent woman.

Medicare was willing to pay 80% of the suggested neurofeedback sessions, but I still couldn’t afford the other 20% on just disability income.  Without any professional counseling, coaching or therapies available for rehabilitating my damaged thought processing; I have been left on my own to come up with ways to exercise my brain and recover abilities. Out of compulsion and hyperactivity I began many small noncrucial “projects” within the interface of the computer and internet where I felt most comfortable.  Inside the virtual world, I could take my time, spell check, copy and paste, my way to coherent communication.  The internet allowed this aphasic, dyslexic mind visual comprehension through icons, avatars and multimedia. Having difficulty composing an entire paragraph of thought, I found the 140 character twitter update box a perfect venue for expression. I began daily tweets on my favorite intellectual pursuit (classic movies) as a repetitive task to organize and focus my ADD mind.  As an aspiring web developer I was also providing myself with an internship in the latest development in social media as well. To my surprise I gained 1000 followers the first month! Because of my neurological breakdown, I really lamented my career goals being thwarted. By January 2009, I recovered some of my HTML/CSS skills to customize my ACMLS blog and start a Ning community website to beta test for fellow lupus survivors.  I joined facebook to communicate with some lupus friends and found over 100 more. Since then I have been encouraged by a few blogger awards.  As the spring of 2009 began I was finally beginning to feel some equilibrium. In fact, I was in the process of writing a blog with “Contentment” as the working title. On Easter weekend, my new philosophy, and my faith were tested like never before.

Without warning, I found myself writhing in pain which led to my son calling ambulance to take me to hospital emergency. By Easter morning I was having an emergency surgery for ruptured colon. I woke up with a colostomy!  The trauma of the surgery on a body already weakened by lupus meant I didn’t even have the strength to turn myself, let alone stand. I was completed disabled--bedridden again at the mercy of the nurse call button and whomever happened to answer.  I was in diapers because I couldn’t tolerate a urinary catheter and oh yea, I had a bag on my belly for the other. NOT LOL. I also had a gaping unstitched opening at least 6 inches wide from being gutted from my panty line through my navel. I have always been a pretty good trooper through thick and thin, but this was just tooooo much. I’d just begin to feel some rehabilitation from the long term effects of 2004 lupus episode and its complications.  I was finally feeling “contentment.” It’s just not fair for me to be dealing with this. Why ME?  I tried to keep a good face, as that’s all anybody seems to expect or allow from me. But honestly, I was not doing well. psychologically I don’t think I have ever been lower. There was no encouraging word to make me feel better and I was really getting sick and tired of people trying to encourage me. Not one of them had been through what I have gone through. They might be able to commiserate with one; maybe two of my life’s many tragic events. Frankly, I just wished they’d admit that this was an awful thing to happen that I didn’t deserve. Instead of repeating the same old platitudes such as something good is going to come out of this tragedy.

The fact is that bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people and bad people. Bad things can happen to anybody. Nothing good may ever come from it either. In order for me to go on, I had a choice to live with this bad thing or just give up and die because of this bad thing. My insightful son made it simple and plain. Mom, you could be dead without the bag or alive with the bag. Obviously I chose life. I realize that the good or bad outcome simply was the perspective I decide to take going forward. There is no guarantee that I had reached my limit on tragedies so I’d better come up with something better than simply not deserving them to deal with them. That outlook is a mine field for depression or insanity. I decided I could choose to find the best perspective possible no matter what tragic event life brings. This was how I had found days when my lupus and fibromyalgia pain was high; my spirits could still be higher by seeking something pleasant around me.

It took 2 months in the hospital and a rehabilitation center of grueling therapy to regain the strength to stand and take steps on my own again.  I rushed home in time to see my son take his girlfriend to prom in May.  The neurological deficits I had added another dimension to the difficulty learning the sequential steps and coordination necessary to care for my colostomy and maintain my own surgical site which was still a large open wound. (That’s a whole other epic story)  Having no one nearby to help me, my best friend from college brought me to her home to convalesce in June. During my visit she suggested that I moved to her little town. So I did.  I gave up my house and the city life for an apartment in a town of just 45,000. With that said, I believe I have  come to a conclusion: Less is more! Since I have been in this town with less people, I have gotten more attention. Transportation isn’t so hectic with all my medical appointments and errands in the same zip code.  I think it’s because more people have less to do and are willing to offer more assistance. Living in 1000sq ft ground level apartment instead of 2000sq ft 2 story house means I am more able to manage my home independently. Having downsized my environment and simplified my lifestyle I am making the most of my mental and physical abilities. It has been almost a year since my colon ruptured. It’s almost spring now and I am just about settled down to regular routines in my new home.  My son has just turned 18 and received admission to college.  For the first time in twenty years, I am looking forward to being on my own. The future is both hopeful and scary but I believe I might feel “contentment” again.

Is Jason Seiden an Anarchist?

For obvious reasons we take the word “anarchist” pretty seriously, and to us it basically means one who seriously challenges the existing rule, norms or customs. A lot of people do a lot of talking about things like radical change and revolution and transformation, but for most people it is just talk.



If you are only loudly challenging the things that are safe to challenge (bad managers suck! / bad companies suck! / bad customer service sucks!) you are not really serious about changing anything and you certainly are not an anarchist. Anarchists have to be willing to challenge institutions and in-groups from time to time…anarchist have to be willing to challenge one another and themselves from time to time as well. If you cannot do any of this you are simply championing new sacred cows.

I knew that Mr. Seiden had some anarchist tendencies after I read his first book, How to Self-Destruct, but I was reminded of those tendencies recently after reading a recent blog post. We proudly fly the Gen X flag here at Talent Anarchy and I know that Mr. Seiden is “one of us”, but this post called us Xers out on some of our own stuff. We have some issues with “bosses” and “organizations” and we might not be building the kinds of relationships that we need to because of some of our own assumptions and beliefs.

Its good stuff and a good reminder to me that we cannot just point out what other folks need to do differently, but we also need to take care of our own side of the street. Regardless of the issue, the opportunity or the problem…we all have a roll to play, and it is important to have truth-tellers and anarchist to remind us of that from time to time.

So. Might it be time to name our first honorary anarchist?

-joe