Several Scientology centers were shut down today in Southern California after they received mysterious envelopes of white powder. SARS! Envelopes were mailed to 19 addresses in Los Angeles and Orange Counties. Buildings were evacuated and some streets were closed. The FBI said the powder doesn't look harmful and it's probably just a hoax. They are conducting more tests.
I'm sort of disappointed that Scientology had to call the police. Don't they have some high-tech labs with alien technicians to figure this shit out?
First Anonymous and now this.....Xenu is not going to be happy. We are testing his patience. I can picture Xenu sitting in his mom's basement, playing Xbox and having to pause his game to take a call from David Miscavige. He rolls his eyes, jots something down in a notebook and continues with his game. One day he's not going to continue that Xbox game and he's going to wreak vengeance on us instead! Get your safehouse ready.